Met MM's W - Dont know what to think....
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| Mon, 08-11-2003 - 12:13pm |
It was a total accident...MM, my sis and b/f we were planning to see a baseball game...I told MM I would meet him at a restaurant between 5:45 and 6pm...well I called him at 5:45 and his phone was off so I left him a message..not nice by the way...Im like you have 15minutes to get here...if not im leaving. Anyhow well 10minutes after the his W shows up..I was like OMG..I had my sis boyfriend with me at the time...he was like sandy thats not MM...im like yea I know. To make the story short my message on MM phone somehow went to her and she beat him there. She got out and said she wanted to talk to me...Im like sure whats up (inside I was freaking out!!) she said I dont know whats wrong with H but he lied and said you were not going to the game he was going to go with your sis b/f...im like well that was the plan but he ended up getting 2 more tickets so we are going I hope you dont mind. She was like no I wanted to meet you becuase H talks to you all the time and always runs out to get the phone when you call. Im like OH....anyhow she said it was nice meeting you im like likewise...and said sorry well I have to go. She was like I hope you have a good time...im like im sure we will it was nice meeting you.
That was that..she had tried calling me before but she has never asked what is going on between me and her H...she just says H lies to her all the time and she cant understand her..im like OH...hmmm...I mean what am I suppose to tell her...thats between her and her H.
On the way to the game...she called H and said I met Sandy...he was like I heard...she said something and I heard him say look you just a sneaky b1tch...and I told you not to be sneaking around my stuff if you did not want your feelings hurt..I am going to do what makes me happy...and then he hung up on her...after that my phone rings its her she leaves me a message and apologizes to ME for being mean and she did not mean to show up ike she did (I did not call her back of course. My MM said since I was totally in shock she is a nice woman and very naive...he told me things would not change between us he was not leaving me regardless of what she said or if she left. I told him that No other woman will put up with that. I mean she calls me to apologize when I have her H...what kind a thing is that?????
Regardless we had a great time at the game and MM did not get home till 3:30am...also he got me a dozen roses yesterday and said he had a great time friday night!
Oh so when he gets home she is up waiting on him take in mind the game was over at 9:30...she was like oh you smell good...he was like thank you. Yea it was my body wash becuase we took a shower and of course he had on my scent my perfume...so obviously she knows...I mean I have no clue???

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So, is MM leaving his W?
He doesn't seem to care that
his W knows about you...
What's your MM's plan?
Sorry... I'm just confused!
And it sounds oddly like
something that happened in
my first A...
Let me know! ~passion
gurl
I know its confusing sorry about that!! I really dont know..he says he is but I really dont know. I mean I have been with him for about 6months and he just had a baby with her 2 months ago. I JUST DONT KNOW. Men say one thing and do another. According to him he says he does not love her and is not happy with her and he has told her that. He just recently got a job he graduated Dec so he finally got a job as a teacher this coming school year. Now that he has a job she has questioned him are you going to leave me and he tells her its a big possibility.
I still have about 2 years more to go till I finish school..and I dont want to get involve with anyone till I finish my school...I have post poned that alot...thx to men!! I work full time and go to school full time in the evening and I also have a son...so its not easy for me to committ to someone 24/7 and he knows this. He tells me by the time I graduate he will have his ducks in a row and we will have a family. He assures me of this all the time. He wants to meet my parents but I told him NO you are married I wont have that. I said the day you leave your W you will meet them. He says that he will have his ducks in a row by the time im out of school...he says time after time Sandy Im not letting you go...I know what I want in my life and I know what I dont want...you are what I want...IM IN LOVE WITH YOU.
I told him I dont know how much I can go like this...but as long as I get my time with him when im free im OK. He told me yesterday dont make plans for thanksgiving weekend...he said we were going out of town. Next weekend I believe we are having a little get away again..before school starts!!
I wont ask him to leave his wife thats not me...I cant do that...it would have to be on him...and everything has come out of him...I just listen...and keep my feet on the ground.
Yes I really care for him ... I have never met anyone who has made me so happy before. I would like him to leave his wife eventually...im just scared that maybe I cant give him all of me 24/7. Im very independent and enjoy that. He sometimes has a hard time with that but lets me be. I told him im not like your W...I wont tollerate that at all.
I just do not want to have that guilty feeling if he leaves her and things do not work out between us. I dont see why not...but you never know. I mean I think how about if he does the same thing to me...you never know. Its hard to trust anyone...I just feel I trust him becuase even if I dont like something he will tell me...like he says sandy im not going to sugar coat anything. I like that becuase im the same way.
he's a grown up sandy. he must make his own decisions, but you should be honest with yourself and with him. if you can't commit to a full-time R, just say so. and i believe you have done that. honesty is the best policy, even if it hurts.
as for MM's W, absolutely no more contact with her. nothing good can come from it. she's fishing for answers to why her M is going south. be very careful where she's concerned. believe me, i know from experience.
do whatever you must to take care of yourself and your child. the men in your life will survive, one way or the other.
You say you've been with him for 6 months and she had a baby 2 months ago. Is that right? So you were with him while she was pregnant? Did that not tell you something there, as to how he treats women? Do you really believe he won't treat you like that when something better comes along?
You don't even seem to know for sure if you want a life long commitment with this guy, yet his wife, who obviously loves him, thought that's what she had with him. I'm just having a hard time understanding how any woman can go out and have fun with a MM when she knows that the wife is fully aware, and then send him home with "her scent" all over him afterwards. That's cold.
All during my ema, which lasted for 3 years, I knew MM's wife, but under no circumstances would I ever do any more to hurt that woman than what I was already doing, and SHE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW ABOUT ME. I would never have allowed MM to go home smelling of me, or to disrespect his wife in front of me.
Maybe we're just from different eras, you and I.
Scanner
=)
Edited 9/22/2003 2:05:16 AM ET by lexylew
I totally disagree with your addage, that if the wife can't keep her H happy, that's her fault. That's a cop-out and you know it. How is she supposed to keep him happy, when she most likely doesn't even know what the whole problem is? The vast majority of men don't confide in their wives the way they should. All this woman knows, is that she's at home with a new baby, and HER husband is out having a good time with someone else. Can you honestly tell me you believe that's right? You also say that all marriages are 50/50, well if that was the true case, there would be a lot less EMA's now, wouldn't there?
Don't take me wrong, I'm not just condemning sandys behaviour, I'm also condemning her MM's. The fact that sandy knew about the wife being aware of her, and the fact she knew about this baby on the way, makes me wonder why she would even put herself in this position. She said she wasn't positive if she was going to spend her future with this man, so in order for her to NOT be sure, I find it hard to accept that she "loves" this man.
Oh and one more thing for you to comment on - these things don't "just happen". That much I do know. People make them happen. They don't just happen on their own.
Scanner
And for the record, no one is responsible for anyone elses happiness, if this man is not happy it's on him, we all do what we need to to find happiness, it is not ever his W's or Sandy's responisibility to make him happy. Everyone needs to realize this.
And he needs to leave her now. And I agree, a man that disrespects a woman is not worth having around. If he disrespects it's usually a good sign that he doesn't think highly of women.
It is your life and if you feel he can give you everything you want in a R, then go for it.
=)
Edited 9/22/2003 2:05:38 AM ET by lexylew
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