Rollercoaster Blues

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2003
Rollercoaster Blues
Mon, 08-11-2003 - 4:43pm
Hi everyone. I am just having a bad day and really need the chance to vent. I called MM today only to get his voice mail. I usually listen (never leave a message) just so I can hear his voice. Well he changed his message and at the end, he has his 2 yr old saying bye-bye. I hung up as usual and ran to the restroom to cry for a while.

Before either one of us got married, we dated in college off and on, and well, I ended up pregnant. Long story short, we had a bitter break up, I didn't go full term with the pregnancy either. Now, five years later, we have talked about the past and our mistakes and whatnot. We have in a sense started over, but everytime I think about how much he loves his son, and how I wished things could have been different between us, I still get a little teary eyed.

Now I just have that message playing over and over in my head. It is past the time when we can talk, so I have to wait until tomorrow before I can say anything, which means I'll be thinking about it all night.

Ahh, when times are good, they are very, very good. But when times are bad........

Anyway, thanks for listening.