Have you had more than one affair?
Find a Conversation
Have you had more than one affair?
| Tue, 08-12-2003 - 4:27pm |
Delurking to ask a question. Have any of you had more than one affair? My EMA is fizzling out which is fine. Just getting tired of his excuses and am just not interested anymore. Love my husband, but as a friend, not lover. Not interested in sex with husband. Finding myself attracted to my trainer, not sure if he is back. It is just weird, I didn't think that I would even think about another EMA. Would like to hear your stories.
L

This is my first EMA, and No, I wouldn't have another. I entered this one knowing my M was ending, and that MM's was not good, but also because of *who* my partner is.
Our relationship is great, MM is great...but while I don't "expect" more than what it is, I can't see putting myself in this position again because I do like him too much. Besides, I would be happy to keep the relationship status quo indefinitely.
That's how I feel today!
I have a question for you Zamp, which isn't meant to be judgmental - do you think it is easier to enter an A once a person has been in one? It was quite easy for me to enter my A once we talked about it, but it was difficult to get to the point to admit to MM that I wanted to...partly because of how I thought he may have thought less of me (my character). But of course now I'm in an EMA, I seem to notice the word "affair" in conversations more (more attuned?), and being on this board alone has me realising how prevelant A's really are. I wonder if that aspect, the societal pressure, is less of an issue when one has already been in an A.
No matter what happens - I hope you're happy Zamp. Be sure to keep us posted!
Meow
To answer your question, yes I think it is easier to enter in an affair once a person has been in one. I was crazy scared with my OM, but once we had that initial contact things were easier and that my heart is now not into him. And I find too that affairs are very prevelant with women. I can't believe how much I hear about them. Me, it was that I am not/wasn't attracted to my husband anymore and we were having a hard time with things, which is better now. I am actually looking at him in a different light now -- now that things are fizzling out with my OM. I think that if I were single, my relationship with OM probably wouldn't have lasted. I actually had coffee with OM this morning which I haven't seen him since June 1st it just isn't really there anymore. I think he has blown me off way too many times, but it is okay. I think now I am seeking just the physical part and not emotional -- OM wasn't very thoughtful/mindful of me and I think that turned me off over time. I am nervous that I find myself attracted to other men though. I wish I could be to my husband, but I am just not.
Yes, I think it is less of an issue once someone has been in an affair with society. It seems to be so commonplace, society doesn't seem to blink an eye.
Hope you are having fun with your MM.
L
This is a damned difficult life to lead and I would never choose to do it again. In future relationships - hopefully with OM, but if not, with others - I will, first, be better at communicating problems so they don't get as hopeless as the ones in my marriage did. Secondly, I will be stronger about getting out when I need to and not hanging on in the hopes of 'what if'. If I can follow these two lessons that I've learned from the failure of my marriage, then it should make having another affair in my life very unlikely.
I know how hypocritical this sounds, but, having affairs is downright disrespectful and in violation of most marriage covenants. By many people's standards, it's flat out wrong, although I know I can't say that taking the leap with OM was wrong. He's been such a gift.
Did that answer it? Or did I answer it too much? lol!
Lucky
Liberal
ns