Do I hold it back?
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Do I hold it back?
| Wed, 08-13-2003 - 9:14am |
So last week I went on an overnight trip with MM. We had a great time, as usual. However, at the end of the night, he told me that he had fallen completely in love with me. I responded by saying, I'm sorry but I can't say the same. I know I made him feel bad b/c he said he shouldn't have said it. The problem is, I DO feel the same but I am holding out b/c I don't want to get hurt. I am single and when this A ends, I'm going to be the one left holding the baggage, not him. He has his lovely wife and family to fall back on. I am still searching for "The One"...although, over the past few months (since I've been seeing MM), I haven't given any SINGLE guy a viable chance.
My dilemma comes down to this: Am I depriving myself of feeling love if I don't admit it to myself, least of all him, that I am in love? Or am I on the right track by holding back and fighting it off due to the situation I am in?

Fool yourself, if you like. But since you're obviously not succeeding with that, why not take a look at the reality. If you want to be with him, be with him and accept the consequences by loving him for as long as it lasts. If you want a single guy, move on. But don't play silly games, with yourself or with him.
But what strikes me in all of this is the tragedy that lurks behind the scenes - the unsuspecting "lovely wife" to whom you believe he will return when the affair is over. Do you REALLY actually BELIEVE that their marriage escapes unscathed, and that your MM will carry no baggage? That's a bit narcissistic of you, dontcha think? YOU are not the only one who will carry baggage as a result of this affair. It will be carried by both you, the MM and his wife, whether she knows it or not. You really ought to stop being so self-absorbed and recognize that your actions (NOT YOUR FEELINGS) affect others in deep and profound. Your feelings can't hurt ANYONE though, so you might as well enjoy them.
Love, real love, is a rare and beautiful gift. If you really love him, let him know. I waited a long time to tell my MM that I loved him. I waited until he said it first, but had he asked me, I would have never denied my love for him.
JMHO
Hugs
Rh
Good Luck and {{hugs}}