I usually post on the ending an affair..

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2003
I usually post on the ending an affair..
9
Wed, 08-13-2003 - 1:32pm
board. I am a married woman with a 3 year old daughter. My affair began almost a year ago with a single man I met in a college course we were both taking. My marriage has been very rocky for several years now and at the time of meeting OM I was just allowing my H to move back into our home with the understanding that he would get counseling, and a few other conditions, which he never followed through on. My H is not a bad person but he has some serious issues that make me feel more like a mother or roommate rather than a wife.

I was very vulnerable when I met OM and was really wowed by him in our "honeymoon" stage. I thought that he was the answer to my fence-sitting in my marriage. Unfortunately after much manipulating on my part I have still not divorced (even though we are reaching the point...by mutual decision none the less). But I haven't yet ended my affair completely and I am starting to feel like a hypocrite posting on the other board when there are so many people working so hard to end their affairs and I am still trying to figure things out!! But once my marriage is sorted out I won't have to hide anymore!!!

Hope you all don't mind me posting here but I need to get things out or I think it may just drive me crazy!! Thanks for letting me vent.

Karry

Karry - - who is learning to embrace life on her own raising her miracle, Carley Paige

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Wed, 08-13-2003 - 1:40pm
Hey Karry,

Welcome! I've seen you on the other board because I was there too for a while. I stopped posting there because I couldn't go with the NC rule that they really stress, and my MM and I never actually stopped talking. I just haven't been able to let him go and the minute he wants to see me, I let him. I don't really know where things stand with him at this moment, but I'm taking it one day at a time and trying to learn from it all.

We don't mind if you post here. Say what you like. There are some really nice people here who have some very good advice.

H&H

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2003
Wed, 08-13-2003 - 2:11pm
Hi Karry and welcome!

If it makes you feel any better I tend to talk a lot about ending the A on this board...my OM just moved this past weekend, so I don't really know if we will do LD or NC or what.

There is a great mixture of women (and some men) on this board that give great advice and support regardless of where you are in your A...

I hope you stick around,

Alameda

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2003
Wed, 08-13-2003 - 2:59pm
Dear Karry: I can soooooo relate. I just found these boards (hard to believe so many people need this kind of support that there's a board dedicated to it, huh? I thought I was the only one...) and I've been posting on both because I don't know what I'm doing. I feel alot of pressure today, as you can see from my posts. I don't know whether I'm coming or going, or who I'm coming and going with, and I'm tired of the chaos and indecision, I'm tired of lying and running around, I'm tired of trying to keep them both somewhat happy while I make a decision, I'm tired of the guilt, I'm just plain of tired of the whole thing and I don't want to balance it much longer. Best of luck to you!

mo 7-18-10

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2003
Wed, 08-13-2003 - 3:41pm
Hopefully you can find the support that you need in both places...Unfortunately, I believe the NC rule as well, if you're truly trying to end it...But, gee, when is it a good time to start to go through all of the grief, heartache, etc...that you know you'll go through because you truly do care for this person, you're just trying to do the "right" thing...I Totally understand...been there time and time again...
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2003
Wed, 08-13-2003 - 3:53pm
Thanks to all of you for your welcoming posts. I have met so many great women and men on the ending board and they are truly inspiring. I just hate to continue to post there when I have been slipping so often and I'm at such a crossroads. But I'm sure that both of these boards are going to be such a blessing for me while I figure this out!! I look forward to getting to know you guys!! Thanks again!!

Karry

Karry - - who is learning to embrace life on her own raising her miracle, Carley Paige

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2003
Wed, 08-13-2003 - 10:05pm
Hi Karry, I used to post here but don't anymore..... I was posting vigorously on the ending board, but I suck at ending..... So I popped in here to see if any of the old timers were here, and I saw you. I am also a hypocrite..... totally...... I hate him/love him/hate him/love him over and over again.......... ridiculous!

Love,

NS

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Wed, 08-13-2003 - 11:59pm
Hi Karry and welcome,

Feel free to post here any time you please... you are most welcome. I think there are actually a few ladies around that are either in the process or thinking about ending their affair on the board, so I'm sure you can help each other out. We also still have a few ladies around that are no longer in their EMA's... but are still here to offer advice and support.

It's a great board with a lovely bunch of people.

luv and hugs

Sweet

Sweet
Co-Community Leader My

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2003
Thu, 08-14-2003 - 10:05am
Thank you for your welcoming post. This is one of the toughest things I have ever been through and I have not had the easiest life. It has totally changed the way I look at myself and my life and what I want from it. I am so thankful to the ending board for all the wonderful advice and support. Unfortunately until I decide to once and for all give up my OM with no chances of slipping and no fence sitting I can't keep expecting them to be sympathetic to my fence-sitting. I am going to eventually figure the thing out but the perefectionist in me is terrified of making more mistakes then what has already been made. Thanks again, and don't be surprised to see me posting like a crazy person from time to time!!

Karry

Karry - - who is learning to embrace life on her own raising her miracle, Carley Paige

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2003
Thu, 08-14-2003 - 3:46pm
Karry,

Welcome and stay as long as you need our support. My OM and I are in NC right now and I don't know how long it will last. Is our R over, maybe but that could change. I am also one of the so called "fence sitters" deciding what to do. I could put 100% into working on my M or I could contact OM and start up again. OM and I will always have contact because we have been friends for so long so I also have to deal with my feelings. At this point NC is hard but I feel that I need it to decide what I want to do with my life. You can come to us with anything because many of us are in or have been in the same position you are so we understand. Sending you hugs DAF