Ugghhh....He is pushing my last nerve...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2003
Ugghhh....He is pushing my last nerve...
4
Thu, 08-14-2003 - 1:26pm
So Tuesday, OM and I had a great time together. I have told my H I want to seperate, we are putting our house on the market and thinking things through. OM was finally opening up to me emotionally somewhat. Now it is Thursday and I haven't heard a word from. Usually when he is pissy with me he at least responds to my call or e-mail with one of his own. The last two days it has been nothing. I am angry to say the least...hurt to say the most. He is wrecking havoc (or I am letting him I should say) with my self-esteem and am so irritated that it is becoming obsessive. I am hoping that he has just gotten called out of town on business (which is normal) but geez, he could at least leave a flipping message somewhere!! Sorry to vent...it just seems like as soon as I make a decision about my fence-sitting he pulls this stuff and I start having my doubts again!! Yikes!!

Karry

Karry - - who is learning to embrace life on her own raising her miracle, Carley Paige

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-14-2003 - 1:42pm
karry, karry, calm down girl!

do not leave your M for the OM. only leave for yourself. if your M is definitely over and you do not love your H, separate by all means. but don't leave your M thinking you can run right to the OM. when i was married, i was very unhappy but stuck with it for the kids. of course, when i wasn't looking, a man tripped into my life and made me feel alive again and attractive, etc. i separated from my H, took the kids, was poor but had two jobs, lots of family support and never looked back. OM and i dated for 6 months, i found out he wasn't relationship material (too long of a story) and moved on without anyone but ME! i left my M because it was dead and should have been buried years before. i started living again and it was wonderful. but do it for YOU, not anyone else.

hang in there. he'll be back, i promise!

gurl

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2003
Thu, 08-14-2003 - 1:51pm
I agree. My H and I are seperating also. I have an OM...we are only friends at this point and nothing sexual. I'm seperating because I know that this is what I want. Emphasis on "I". Make sure you do the same. Once you make your bed...you have to lie in it. But make yourself happy and don't ever think back and say I wish I would've....and seperating for you is the perfect way to do that. I'm getting some independence, some space, room to breath...without giving up my M...because despite OM I'm not sure I'm ready to do that. I'm ready to move on...at least I feel that way now.

Hope that helps!+

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-14-2003 - 2:06pm
divine -- i've been divorced for 15 years!! and happy and independent and loving every minute of it.

i'm sooo glad you are separated for YOU. and i like the way you said you're getting some space and room to breathe so you can figure out what you want -- most women just run away and never try to figure out what will make them happy. everyone needs a plan!

best of luck to you d. sounds like you're on the right track girl!

take care and enjoy your space,

gurl

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2003
Thu, 08-14-2003 - 2:42pm
OMG I HATE when that happens! I read some of the responding posts to yours and I agree - we have to leave the M for OURSELVES, not to immediately jump into another commitment. Before my OMM, I always thought that if something in my M was wrong enough that I wound up in an A, the M wasn't worth saving. Now, I'm so screwed up I don't know what to think.

My OMM has already committed himself to me and wants to wait for me to make a decision because he's so certain he and I are soulmates and were destined to meet and spend our lives together.

I felt really, really empowered when I read those posts in response to yours because I ought to be making a decision to end my M and making a separate decision whether to continue my A. The problem is, through various other life circumstances I have no idea what will make me happy. Funny though, my therapist recommended I spend alot of time trying to figure out what would make ME happy as well, rather than deciding whether to spend the rest of my life with H or OMM...

But good for you that you're going ahead with the separation and putting your house on the market. If its not too personal, have you posted about the reasons for your separation on this or any other board????

mo 7-18-10