What if your h/w were also cheating?
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What if your h/w were also cheating?
| Wed, 09-24-2003 - 1:37am |
Hi,
Just wondering about something. How would some of you deal with your own spouses doing what we are doing to them? Would you say hey, I'm doing it so why shoudn't he/she? Would you go on and pretend you didn't notice? Or would you use it as the perfect reason to get out? I'm not sure what I would have done, although I'm divorcing h now. But I just wonder if I would have been upset, regardless if I had the right. I know that it isn't fair to have a double standard, but sometimes you can't help it. I think it's more of an ego blow then anything else. So anyhow, how would you deal with that kind of a situation, being that you yourself are in a ema? Thanks for your thoughts, Jdreamer...
Just wondering about something. How would some of you deal with your own spouses doing what we are doing to them? Would you say hey, I'm doing it so why shoudn't he/she? Would you go on and pretend you didn't notice? Or would you use it as the perfect reason to get out? I'm not sure what I would have done, although I'm divorcing h now. But I just wonder if I would have been upset, regardless if I had the right. I know that it isn't fair to have a double standard, but sometimes you can't help it. I think it's more of an ego blow then anything else. So anyhow, how would you deal with that kind of a situation, being that you yourself are in a ema? Thanks for your thoughts, Jdreamer...

Hi Jdreamer,
Where do I start?? well... firstly I'll say while I love DH... I'm no longer IN love with him and since I realised that I've come to the conclusion that it probably wouldn't bother me that much if he was involved in a EMA... as long as he is protecting us all and being careful.
I can say that now... but who's to say if it actually happened... I would still feel the same.
I thought that he may have been a little while ago... and it didn't bother me... so I will say that I would be ok... if I knew for sure... I would certainly hold it there in case I ever needed it.
I hope I've made some sense... late in the day and I shouldn't be here.
luv and hugs
Sweet
Co-Community Leader My
My H did have an affair on me just after we were married. I was crushed. He claims it was just friendship and that they never had intercourse however I know other things took place.
I understood that the affair took place because of things both him and I were doing or should I say not doing. The EMA I am having now is NOT out of revenge. My H affair took place years ago. But I have thought about that aspect and to be honest, I am not sure how I would react. I probably would understand seeing how I am doing the same thing. I love my H dearly, and my EMA would have never started, but when I found my MM it just happened and I found that he filled a void that I had been missing for so long. So most likely if my H was to have an EMA I would try to understand and we would have to figure out whether our marriage was worth saving or not together meaning we would both have to stop the affairs. And to be quite honest, not sure how I would deal with that.