Is it cheating without SEX?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2003
Is it cheating without SEX?
4
Wed, 09-24-2003 - 6:37pm
A married co-worker and I became VERY close I ended up telling him we had to quit hanging out because I was falling in love. He answered that he also had fallen for me, and we were both confused that we had fallen for each other and had never had sex. I am single and he married young--to he says now is the wrong woman for him but they have 2 kids and he could never put them through a divorce. He is not UNhappy with her, just thinks he would be VERY happy with me. I told him that as much as I want to be with him, I would never want him to leave FOR me. I asked him to ask himself this question: If I wasn't in the picture would he leave his wife? He said probably not. So until the day he leaves because he can't be in the same house with her, he needs to stay for the kids. My question is this: We hang out a LOT, take overnight trips, talk 2-4 times a day...pretty much spend every minute we can together when he doesn't have to be home with the kids. We have NOT had sex.....so is he cheating? His wife knows I exist. She asked if there were feelings involved. He told it, "Does it matter? I am not going anywhere." She never brought me up again. He says she's on the don't ask/ don't tell. I refuse to sleep with anyone with a wedding ring on their finger. Is it an affair?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2003
Wed, 09-24-2003 - 6:46pm
WOWOWOWOWOW!!!!!! That's nearly identical to my problem and I posted about 10 minutes before you....I thought they had edited my post because it's sounds so the same. I hope someone can help us. I think I love my MM too!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Wed, 09-24-2003 - 6:53pm
hi livinlovearin l think you having a affair since your mm married man is doing things behine his W back and he doesn't want her to know about what to are doing. you said you both go together on over night trips does that me share same bed but don't make love. but for me l'm single also and my mm is married and we haven't made love yet but we had kiss and we very special loving hugs so to me yes we been having affair.he loves me and love him but sad things is his W has very bad alzemiers' so he has to take care of her 24/7 . welcome special place all ladies great hugs kimmy
kimmy
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Wed, 09-24-2003 - 7:05pm
hi sweetie me to l know in my head me and special man like call him my mm we had affair even never talk about it what hs been going between us.l know my special man since 16 and no nothing happen between us until l was 23 he 30 years old then me. he very sexy young 70 british man looks so hot sexy for his age, he so much to be with.like this past jan he was with at my house new years eve and day. one night after dinner we were in kitchen he spill soem wine went over to him help clean up while over their l ask him if he wnat me to take care of him and he said big yes.he wants me so much but can't be together ugh. anyway with question since ask him about me takening care of him to me that cheating to he emtional affair with me. hi fashiongrrls are you single to like me hope not old as me l'm 40 but look like 27.how long been with your mm hugs kimmy
kimmy
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2002
Thu, 09-25-2003 - 10:48am
Of course it's an affair. If you are sharing intimate things - and I don't mean just intercourse - with a person other than your spouse, you are cheating on them. If you can't tell your spouse every detail of your involvement with someone else, you are cheating.

I knew I was cheating the first time my OM and I kissed, and when I went home, I could not tell my DH every detail of the day, as I had always been able to do (not that I *would* tell him every detail of every day, who'd want to hear that! - but I could have). Even though we didn't kiss again for weeks, I knew we were starting an affair, and so did he, and both of us would date the start of our relationship to that date. BTW, we weren't physically intimate for months. But believe me, our *spouses* would certainly have considered that we were having an affair. Even if your MM's wife isn't asking about you, that does not mean your MM isn't cheating on her.