When do you pick YOURSELF over the RIGHT

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2003
When do you pick YOURSELF over the RIGHT
Wed, 09-24-2003 - 8:23pm
Should I believe him when he says he loves me? All he ever says is "Why didn't God let me meet you first."

A lot of HIS friends believe he will leave and actually ADVISE me to stick it out...but if I stay and give him the love he's missing, then he has no reason to fix things right? We have not had sex and I believe we will never cross that line as long as he is married to her. He says that IF we do end up together that I will be able to trust him completely....even though it's hard NOT to be intimate we are both VERY strong when it comes to that area. We have slept in the bed and held each other but abstained from crossing the line sexually. Staying away and not spending time together is our REAL weakness. His wife knows I exist and she knows when he's 'with friends' that he's with me. How can she not put up a fight if she really loves him? He says she's on the don't ask/ don't tell thing. That seems so sad to me--for everyone involved. I am able to be his friend and we express our love for one another all the time. But I know he will probably never leave or he would've already.

Questions: When is it right to leave a loveless marriage so that you can have love for yourself? When do you walk away from a marriage when your spouse really didn't change...you just know someone else is the person you'd be happier with?

When is YOUR happiness more important then others?