what do you think...

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2002
what do you think...
4
Thu, 09-25-2003 - 9:03am
I haven't seen MM for almost 2 weeks now. Last week we were supposed to be he cancelled. His work does come first and i know that he's been very busy there. So yesterday he talked on the phone and then he said that we would see each other next week. Next week? Is he kidding me. I mean he's got no desire to see after all this time? I will talk to him today and tell him that if this is not a good time for him, because he's so busy at work and stressed, coming home very late every night, than i'm not going to bug him anymore, because i need more than one call a day, and cannot live like this anymore. I'm tired of being a fool. Basically i think that if he had feelings for me he would try harder. Right? I'm ready and i know it's going to be hard but i have to put my foot down, but i know that after all is said i'm going to be the one hurting...
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 09-25-2003 - 9:27am
*hugs* I know exactly where you're at with this...My OM gets totally entangled in his work and at times he doesnt even find the time to give me that daily call I love so much! His work, his DD and his fiance keep him plenty busy leaving not much time for us. To top it all off his fiance is expecting his baby in May. What I have come to realize is that these relationships will never work like any other relationship we are accustom to being involved in. They take patience and alot of work to be successful. You can't expect your OM to be there when you need him, not occassionally, not ever - if you do you are destine for disappointment. I have often asked the same questions you are asking - If I only get to see him every couple weeks, what's the use? What's the use of spending 10 days sad and lonely just to get an hour or two with him and a few casual phone calls? I have ran these thoughts through my mind a million times and more. What I have come to realize is that my OM is simply a bonus, a perk to my life...he is not someone I can depend on for anything, afterall, that's my H's job! The bottom line is that we're all responsible for our own happiness. You can not change your OM's priorities but you can change your priorities and how you react to his...With that, I wish you the best of luck in sorting this out. There will come a time in all of our EMAs when we have to ask ourselves if it's all really worth it. But I promise you when you step back and figure out a different way of looking at your situation it may just become clear what you should and shouldnt be expecting out of this relationship.

Liberal

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 09-25-2003 - 9:49am
lu, are you single?? if you are, let him go. once again, "if it hurts, let it go" and move on. 3 weeks before he can "see" you is not a relationship. he's too busy to have an A, girl. you deserve more, don't you.

be strong and don't call him. go out and meet other people. hang out with your girlfriends, whatever you need to get you through. have fun 'cause life is toooo short to sit around waiting for someone who is "too busy" for you!

take care,

gurl

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2002
Thu, 09-25-2003 - 10:57am
No, i'm not single (most of the times i wish i was). But i know that he will call me. If i tell him forget this relationship, you're too busy for me, i feel like i will loose him for good, or maybe he will think that i just don't understand what he's going through right now at work. I love him and he knows that. He never said it back, only says he has feelings for me, which i will never figure out what he means... but. I will say what i have to say to him, i have my opionion and always tell him how i feel, whether it will be better or worse.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 09-25-2003 - 11:38am
lu, if you're M, then by all means, keep in touch with your OM. but don't expect more than he can offer you. three weeks between face-to-face contact is a long time, but not if you know the reasons why it happens.

try to relax and keep busy between those times. and when you do get to be with him, relax and enjoy every moment!

gurl