So much for calling it quits (LONG)

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2003
So much for calling it quits (LONG)
1
Thu, 09-25-2003 - 2:41pm
Well, last time I posted, I said I had called it quits with my MM. I never told him that I didn't want to see him anymore, I just decided within myself that I couldn't continue. Well, we spoke a few days after he returned from travel and he came over. Of course, my mind changed as soon as I saw him outside of work where we could be ourselves. I did tell him that I was mad at him for not calling and he a pretty limited response and only said that he had no excuse. We didn't talk about it for too long because we both had other things on our mind ;)

We were talking about his next set of business trips and he asked if I ever get to go to ___. It was quite a coincidence that earlier that day I spoke with clients about attending meetings at that same place. I told him that coincidentally there was a chance that I'd be in that same city and we compared dates and it was the same time. He suggested I stay a day longer and stay over with him. I was shocked to hear that, but very excited. But, because I don't let him see the emotional side of me, I said that I wasn't sure about that. I really wanted to say YES! This is the moment I've been waiting for! I was really confused about his response though. He said..."there, I said it." Once again, I didn't ask him to clarify it. I'm assuming he meant that he's been wanting to say that for awhile but just never did. I don't know. Well, it turns out that I will not be going after all because some other high priority stuff has come up that precludes me from going. I haven't told him yet, but I want to suggest that we still make plans to do that. I don't know if I will though.

I've decided to continue seeing him. I'm learning so much from this experience and I'm not quite ready to let him go yet. More times than not, I'm confused about how he feels and am not sure if it's just a sexual affair. But, I enjoy the time we spend together even if it is limited. I'm sure I'll reach the point where I can't handle it anymore, but I'm going to enjoy it while it lasts and maintain my confidence in our relationship. I'm going to quit trying to "figure it out" and just go with the flow.

Thanks for listening to me ramble :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Thu, 09-25-2003 - 6:56pm

Hi sher and welcome back,


Accepting your relationship for what it is... will certainly take you a long way... and hopefully help you to understand it.

Sweet
Co-Community Leader My