He dropped me ?....so much hurt
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He dropped me ?....so much hurt
| Fri, 10-03-2003 - 4:18pm |
Hello everyone, thanks for taking the time to read this.
maybe you have seen me post the day before yesterday, saying someone called his wife. By the way the so called friend, well I did not know he was married when I meet him so I told her about him....innocently...we were friends....then things developed and she was like ok he is married, well he had meanwhile told me also, but anyway. If I woul dhave known when I meet him he was married I would have never confined in her....anyway.
he called, finally, saying something about being confused, needed to calm down , sort things out, so sorry he knows this hurts me....am I ok....I said well how can I really be if someone , whoever called the wife , made all choices for me....I feel like I lost him in every way...he said no please don;t say this....but I guess being friends is all we now can be, this he guesses ! is just the way things have to be...with a pregnant wife at home and his job promotion he got recently, we work together, this would not be good to come out....but we can still stay friends right ?....Well so while my heart broke into a million pieces...I said yes sure we can still call and talk when we run into each other...so yeah I guess I should understand his reasoning, what is at stake for him to loose...but you know what...he so willingly lost me....without any fight, without any hope he ran away......and it just hurts so much .
Right now I am not sure if I want to even stay in touch, it just hurts so much pretending to put all your feelings, the love you have for someone aside and just chat like friends...maybe in time it will be better...time heels wounds everyone says....right ?!
Right now it just hurts so much ..........and I can not wonder but to think if he can drop me after two years !!! just like this...just because someone called and just briefly said oh he is seeing some women in that and that area of town....I turn into a nobody to him. Sorry, I know I must sound bitter....I am just so hurt...and wonder how to face tomorrow and the day after....going bakc to being even more lonely....why could he not in some way fight for me....say ok let;s lay low for a while.....please don;t leave me...I don;t want to loose you ............guess that would have been in a fairytale...
thanks for listening ...........and I guess I need to be going over to the ending an affair board...even that the choice had been made for me...
maybe you have seen me post the day before yesterday, saying someone called his wife. By the way the so called friend, well I did not know he was married when I meet him so I told her about him....innocently...we were friends....then things developed and she was like ok he is married, well he had meanwhile told me also, but anyway. If I woul dhave known when I meet him he was married I would have never confined in her....anyway.
he called, finally, saying something about being confused, needed to calm down , sort things out, so sorry he knows this hurts me....am I ok....I said well how can I really be if someone , whoever called the wife , made all choices for me....I feel like I lost him in every way...he said no please don;t say this....but I guess being friends is all we now can be, this he guesses ! is just the way things have to be...with a pregnant wife at home and his job promotion he got recently, we work together, this would not be good to come out....but we can still stay friends right ?....Well so while my heart broke into a million pieces...I said yes sure we can still call and talk when we run into each other...so yeah I guess I should understand his reasoning, what is at stake for him to loose...but you know what...he so willingly lost me....without any fight, without any hope he ran away......and it just hurts so much .
Right now I am not sure if I want to even stay in touch, it just hurts so much pretending to put all your feelings, the love you have for someone aside and just chat like friends...maybe in time it will be better...time heels wounds everyone says....right ?!
Right now it just hurts so much ..........and I can not wonder but to think if he can drop me after two years !!! just like this...just because someone called and just briefly said oh he is seeing some women in that and that area of town....I turn into a nobody to him. Sorry, I know I must sound bitter....I am just so hurt...and wonder how to face tomorrow and the day after....going bakc to being even more lonely....why could he not in some way fight for me....say ok let;s lay low for a while.....please don;t leave me...I don;t want to loose you ............guess that would have been in a fairytale...
thanks for listening ...........and I guess I need to be going over to the ending an affair board...even that the choice had been made for me...

here is the one simple answer to all your questions. MEN ARE PLAIN AND SIMPLE-----WEAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WEAK, WEAK, WEAK. They don't fight for love like women. Actually they don't and can't be anything like us. It doesn;t mean he doesn't love you, it doesn't mean he wouldn;t rather be with you than his W. A lot of men don;t like change, don;t like to admit failure(who does) but there are far many more women who can handle life decisions, tasks and whatever comes our way. Men step back, crawl into their caves, (so called space). Men can't do 2 things at once. (im not male bashing) i have 5 little men of my own.(children) But they totally can't do what they really want and feel they do more what the feel the should do. 2 years? He loves you, give it time. Whatever he has been lacking with W, he still won't get now. And actually all of us women who are in the same so called boat together, we in someways are our own worst enimies cause we really do help the marriage continue. We give what they require and it makes it easier in many reasons to stay. I do believe part time true totally deep love is better than full time (room mates). Sharing the house and $$$$$ but not what men and women are supposed to be and that is best friends. I still want my MM to have his male friends,(no one can or should be everything to one person) but i know i am his best friend as he is mine. Sorry i rambled. Hang in there. Try to keep the happy memories in your heart and running through your mind, just so you don;t drive yourself out of your mind.
Love 4everlovers
thanks for your reply....sorry to be late on replying on your post about sick wife...there was a movie on lifetime not to long ago...wife was sick also....
let him make the choice, sorry don;t have all the details....he may take care of her physically and out of care and obligation...but if his heart is still with you
you will know.... Be patient..but keep your eyes open for maybe Mr. wonderful to walk in your life meanwhile, you need ot give him a chance....and can not wait on MM forever.
Hugs, E
Honestly, I would count this as a blessing and maybe think about getting yourself into some counseling, you obviously are very depressed and lacking in some self esteem to feel as though being 2nd best is your only option in life. I understand that anyone can fall in love with anyone, but I think the man made the right decision, his wife is pregnant, he really needs to focus on repairing his marriage and trying to work it out, for the sake of himself and his soon to be family.
Sorry you were hurt in the crossfire, but having an affair, there is always going to be an injured party.
Please get some counseling...feeling as though having an affair is better than being "single" is really sad and I hope that you will learn to get some self esteem soon.
Take care