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Pick the Ending!
| Sat, 10-04-2003 - 1:13pm |
Hey ladies and few gents! :D
I know this is a bit different but I wanted to get the opinions of some who have been in my shoes (or similar shoes anyway! ;) ) So... if you will please take a look at this and offer you thoughts, comments or opinions I would GREATLY appreciate it!
XO
Edited 10/7/2003 8:03:43 PM ET by imanewposter

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As for some of what you wrote about feeling like only half a person when he leaves, and how he makes you feel like a whole, well, those are the words of a woman who needs to do a LOT of work on herself before she can be in a normal relationship. Please take a look at the articles posted on http://www.rhondafindling.com about obsessive relationships. You and your partner should be TWO wholes that equal MORE than the sum of their parts, not two codependant partial people looking for their missing piece. If you don't like Rhonda Findling's site, then read the children's book: The Missing Piece by Shel Silverstein. Same idea.
Anyway - I think it's apparent that I am independant or I wouldn't even be CONSIDERING leaving or returning to school at 27 - I'm a very independant person. I was just hoping those of you that have experienced this kind of love would understand - and have some advice in regard to THIS situation! Anyway - I hope to continue to find some good responses! Thanks!
Well, I am glad that *not* going to school to accomplish your degree is *not* an option!
Hmmmm....does it matter which school you attend? Would you accomplish the same at any? If so, I would stay local (less tuition) and enjoy the time with MM. Chances are, your credits will transfer to another school should you change your mind, yes?
Go with what *you* want, Poster. Best of luck, and do let us know what you've decided!
Hugs,
Meow
Anyway - thanks for the advice - all day yesterday I was so down and started thinking I HAD to look into the 3 hour away school because well... I HAD to! But I'm thinking it's okay to only go an hour now! :) I can distance myself but still have the option! I like that! :D
Anyway - thank you SO much for your thoughts and I am always open to more! :D jsmissourirain@aol.com
I CAN acheive what I want at any of the three and I WILL accomplish my goals HE doesn't change that for me - it's whether or not I will look back and regret leaving him behind - and I figure those of you that have been faced with this before would know! :D THanks!
I would base my decision on that, not on "would I regret leaving".
I had a similar decision to make a long, long time ago and eventually it came down to which I would regret more... a GREAT school on the other side of the country, that would open the doors to all kinds of possibilities and an entirely new path for my life... or a really good local school that would keep me near MM (in case he ever did leave, as he said he would), still offer me the education I wanted and some great opportunities... but... a BIG BUT... and that's what made my decision.
If MM were not in your life, what would your decision be? Would it really be just as hard?
I based my decision on "ten years from now, where do I want to be and which path is going to get me there..." Did I want MM in my life... yes, definitely. Did I HAVE to stay local to make sure that happened? Or would it be worth the risk of losing him to know I would gain in other areas? When I took MM out of the equation, there was no question what my decision would have been. And since there were no guarantees and only limited promises where he was concerned, I had to base my decision on me and not on his plans... or potential plans.
Meow is right, you have to do what makes YOU happy. But I would only suggest looking at this from the opposite angle of what it sounds like you're doing now. And either way, go blissfully forward... support your own decision even if everyone else thinks your nuts!
Good luck,
lily
well my reply is maybe a little bit different. I see were you are coming from and you seem to be one complete person with or without J., as I always believed in you need to love yourself first in order to give love. So i rather want to think that the incredible chemistry and attraction and that whole feeling of love with J. is what you think you will be missing.
Thank you so much for writing something about him not leaving his LIFE, not his WIFE
WOW, I could have not described it any better way. I am almost 40 now, but with MM having had walked in my life about 2 years ago, it blew my mind, in all those years i never felt like this before. We meet and our looks were like...gee were where you all my life?
There you are finally...sadly wrong timing, but still the perfect person for me in my eyes to have walked into my life.
MM and I are no longer together though since someone called his wife....he is scared to loose his LIFE, with just a current promotion at work and soooo many to depend on him, wife is also pregnant ....but anyway, I would try to look for a school close by , check it out...you seem contempt with the way things are with J. When you wrote he was not too much like.....hey please stay , don;t move...you have to understand, he would not want to lead you on. He knows you deserve better, more then he will be able to give you . i always told MM., but let this be my decision you know , when i want better i will go and do better......so I hope all will work out for you , remember there is no guarantee that tomorrow he will be still in your life...no matter how much he loves you , being with you etc....enjoy the moment, but always remember it could be gone and over with tomorrow.
Maybe you can put off going to school or like I said finding a school closer bye?
Sorry hope this was of some help simply teling you be patient with yourself....and enjoy every day with J.....Hugs to you
It's weird it's almost like I feel like I have to run away to move on - I mean do I not think I'm strong enough to stay near him and be without him? Shouldn't that say something? Maybe I don't want to!?!?! Anyway - if moving ON was really what I wanted I just think this whole decision would be alittle easier - things would be falling into place alittle better than they are! So... I don't know - I'm thinking sticking around isn't such a bad idea then I can decide if I want to distance myself from him alittle or continue to enjoy the little big and possibly limited time I still have with him! :D It's MY decision and that feels good! But I LOVE coming here and getting such GREAT and diverse feedback! Thank you all and I'm still open to future thoughts! :D
Of Course! I remember you ;-) I don't even lurk here as much as I used to, I'm so busy - but when I saw your "friendly face" I wanted to reply.
To date, I've not had regrets. The decisions I have made (or not, lol) is what I deemed to be right at the time - no sour grapes if things turned out differently than anticipated down the road (yes, and some decisions have been very serious). So, I don't consider if I will regret something in the future that I have or haven't done now, when making a decision today. (If that makes sense)
I don't know if that's right or wrong - Lily has commented in replies to me of regrets before - she's wiser than I in relationships, and I know I still have (alot of) learning to accomplish, and experiencing to live.
Whatever you do, consider what *you* want, and work towards that positively. If you have a positive attitude, and it's something you want, the down-sides don't seem so negative. Balance, and staying true to you.
Have fun with it, and kudos to you for knowing (in a way) what you want to do with your life now!
Meow
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