How long was it before you ..........
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How long was it before you ..........
| Tue, 10-07-2003 - 8:00pm |
first consummated the A? I'm just curious about everybody's different experiences. We have NOT consummated ours yet, but I know we will, I just don't know when. We've both expressed that desire, we just don't want our first time to be trivial and in any old place or just a common thing.
We even scheduled it for two weeks from now, but it doesn't look like that will happen, so we will probably have to reschedule for some time next month. We'll see. We have set rules for that as well. Never at my house, never at his house, never at certain motels, etc..... We have a whole list of when nots and where nots. Just being cautious because we both want to stay married to our spouses.
That does sound stupid. We want each other but we want to stay married to our spouses. I never in a million years thought I'd ever be this selfish or be in a situation like this one.
Ok, my tangent is over, now answer my question please fellow board members. I've noticed that men are also on this board.

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Okay, I'll define it myself. Six months.
A piece of advice, from an old pro at scheduling in a long term, long distance affair... don't try to schedule too much or expect too much from any one encounter. Especially the *first* encounter. No expectations is best - look at it as time for the two of you, without others being able to interrupt, but also without expectations of anything in particular. We have to schedule, too (because of our A logistics), but we have found it to be less pressure (and better... ) if we keep expectations (and preceding conversations specifically on that topic), to a minimum. Just my own impressions here, for what they're worth.
Maybe it sounds stupid but a lot of us are like you. We don't want to end our marriages but we needed something more. For am and my MM we had known each other for a couple of years (co-workers) but after a business trip together we both realized how much we liked each other and how much we had in common as far as dissatisfaction with our Ms. After we decided we wanted an A it was a few weeks of planning before we got together but it was wonderful!!! That was about 4 months ago and we've maneged to plan several more times together. We both have other jobs at our company now and don't see each other as often but we e-mail and talk on the phone every workday and get together for lunch a couple of times a week. There are no signs of stopping yet. It is hard sometimes though, living this double life. Sometimes I really hate the fact that I am not his priority but that's how it goes in an affair.
TA
It was about a month after we confessed our attraction to each other. Before that we knew each other for almost three years -- so it did, and didn't take long!!
Get used to the scheduling problems, but it will be worth it! I do think it is good not to have too many expectations. Just enjoy each other for that bit of time when the rest of the world disappears. That part won't be hard -- it's addictive!
Good luck.
MM and I knew eachother for a long time, realized our attraction and it took six months before we were able to be "together". He didn't want it to be a quickie so to speak and its so hard for him to get away. We have only been together twice and only see eachother in that way about every 4 months, which is hard, but I see him and talk to him frequently so it makes it all worth it.
Sweettendencies
it's crazy, but it just gets better and better.
see ya,
gurl
I've known my MM for several years. We run in the same circle of friends. Our EMA started because he responded to a joke that I sent out via email. I have never fooled around before but had thought about it often (Sexless marriage for many many years). Anyhow, we started talking via e-mail and one thing lead to another. It took us about 3 weeks to actually consummate the relationship. I was so nervous when driving to meet him the first time, I still don't remember getting there! LOL! Sat, Oct 11th will be one year from the first hotel meeting. However, We had a few smooch, smooch meeting before that. We are still going strong. Our relationship has blossomed:) We talk and e-mail one another every day. Oh and we see each other at least 3 to 4 times a week, one of those days being our marathon days at our little hotel:):):) Yesterday:) To answer you other question: No, you don't sound stupid. You sound like you are a bright young woman. I commend you for thinking these things thru. It's better to be safe than sorry. We too intend to stay married to our spouses. We're having our cake and eating it too:) Good luck! If you ever need to talk let me know I'm here. NMR
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