om said he luvs me more

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2003
om said he luvs me more
1
Wed, 10-08-2003 - 2:29pm
Hi all! Please be patient and read my post. I'm a little bit confused right now and need to vent. I have no one else to share this to. If any of you are or have been in this situation, please, I need your input.

Anyhow, my OM recently told me that he loves me more that his W. He said he married her out of loneliness but now he does love her. They have 2 kids together. As for me, I got married young to my first love. We have a son together. Anyway, I also told OM that I feel like I love him more that my H. We have such strong feelings for each other but agreed not to leave our families. I guess we're just gonna be each other's confidant and bestfriend on the side. But is that even possible? I'm so confused. He said he won't leave the M unless his W leaves him first. I guess he'll never leave her then. But then again, even if I'm not intimate with my H anymore, I don't see myself leaving him either. The funny thing is that sometimes, OM and I talk about being with each other one day. We're not planning on it but we're hoping. I don't know, it's just so confusing to me. We have strong feelings for each other but can't leave our families. Another problem is that his job requires him to go overseas for a year. He said he'll call me from there as often as calling his W, maybe more, he said. I just hate knowing that we can't be together. It could be possible but we're definitely not gonna do anything to make is possible. I guess we just don't wanna be the bad guys cause we won't win anyways. So, I don't know what to think. If you could let me know your opinions, it would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 10-08-2003 - 2:44pm
Geann, many of the ladies on this board know my situation, but I'll refresh it for you. I have been on both sides of this coin. I have been in love with my OM and left my H for him and found complete happiness when I married my OM...that was a good decision considering my previous circumstances. Now Im married to my OM and have found myself in another EMA. However, this time I would never in a million years leave my H. It is entirely dependent on your situation whether you should leave or stay and only you can make that decision.

However, I do want to stress to you that marriage is rarely as exciting as an EMA, generally speaking. Of course some couples have it all goin' on but I can honestly admit my marriage is fantastic and Im married to my soul mate and couldnt expect more out of a husband than I have found. What Im trying to say is that even in the best of marriages the grass will always look greener and more rich on the other side of things. There is something that is keeping you firm in your decision to stay with you H, why are you questioning this? Why are worrying about the future and what it holds? You are going to make yourself crazy girl!

Enjoy your EMA and all that it brings to you and your OM - take advantage of the time and experiences that you have together, love him and let him love you....but always remember that you two have the fantasy side of all the things a relationship consists of...you dont have the bills, the children, the home repairs, the grocery shopping and all the other things in your mix that you have at home with your spouses.

Keep it real!

Liberal