new here andneed some feedback/advice..
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| Sun, 10-12-2003 - 10:32am |
I have agreed to stay for awhile to try and "work things out"..unfortunately it's not working for me at all. In the lsat 2 months i have met a very kind gentle man, single father with 2 children......I have explained my situation and although we have become freinds..there has been no sexual involvement besides hugging and kissing. We talk twice a week on the phone (as he lives in a different city)...we email......etc....I feel totatlyy ay ease with this man..talking and confiding in him..he accepts me for who I am....asks about my son etc....and admits he has developed deep feeling for me. Deep in my hert I could very easily fall in love with this man...he writes me poetry and is emotionally very honest...affectionate. I have spoken to people who know him and he has always been this way. (so it's not just a put on for me).
With my marriage on the "rocks' should I end it now and try and move on with this other man? He says he will wait however long is necesary and has not pushed for sex at all. HELP!
Thanks everyone for listening..I know I wrote quite a bit.

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Thanks for your response. It's nice to know I'm not the only one in the "boat". No, I wouldn't leave for another man. My marriage has been on the edge well before I met this gentleman. Although my husband is not a bad person......I haven't been "in love" with him for quite sometime. It took me along time to be able to admit that. This "other" man has come along only recently. The only reason I am still in my marriage is for my son's sake. But, I don't know how much longer I can do this and put my life on hold.
H.
Thanks for everyone's help! I appreciate it!
H.
I understand your dilemma and how emotionally confusing it can be. I bet you are feeling "stuck" right now not knowing which way to turn... I would recommend that you take some time away -- just you -- for a long weekend. Use that time to be quiet and really "listen" to what you want. Sometimes we need to still the chatter of our everyday lives to get clarity. This is an important decision and I'm sure you'll come back with a plan or a process for moving forward. Don't waste another minute of your very precious time in limbo. Make the time and just do it.
Best of luck and hugs...Susanna
I've spent my whole life taking care and worrying about other people. Mostly to the neglect of my own emotional and physical well being at times. I care about my husband, he's a good man an dbeen agreat stepfather to my son but I haven't loved him the way a wife should for quite some time. As for a physical life, we haven't had one for months now. I've moved 3 times in the last 3 years so we could get to a city and place where he is happy and thriving but I feel totally lost. (I'm a small town girl and he's from the big city)
Lately I feel agreat desire just tobe alone. I'd love to be in a relationship with this "other man" and I know from those around him that he would give me the space I desire to esplore my life yet still be there for me.
Perhaps I 'm on th wron g board but I have no one to talk to really in this new city so I needed to reachout before I get myself into a situation I can't fix. I greatly miss intimacy and that feeling of comfort from being with someone. I don't have that right now. This other man offers this to me even though we have yet to "sleep" together.
I think I have made my decision it's the follow through I have a problem with. I hate confrontation and hurting people. But in the proces I am hurting me as well.
I will take some time for myself...as amatter of fact I am travelling out of town this weekdn to do just that.
Thanks for listening.
H.
I have never been one to be dishonest with anyone...especially about love.
For the time being we are together to try and "work it out". Unfortunately things have been let go for too long to ever get back the feelings and confort level I once had with him. He realizes this.
We are more friedns than lovers at this point, he for his part is content with that..I am no..I was hoping perhaps time would help but it's making matters worse.
I do appreciate your concern though..thank you.
H.
Yes I am seeking someone who is alittle more compatible than what my husband and I seem to be. I don't know if I mentioned that my husband is 13 years older than I am and seems to use this an an excuse to get out of any plans I try to make with him or as a family..including sex.
The gentleman friend I mentioned is closer to my age...and we seem to have the same goals and outlook on life. He does not pressure me at all for sex....knows my situation and is there for me when I need to talk or cry...
I just get the feeling that I need to start living life on my own terms....everyone is so used to me being there for them..doing for them.....giving up everything for them...I'm not content to be that way any longer.
Am I crazy?
H.
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