Open Marriages
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Open Marriages
| Tue, 10-14-2003 - 12:50pm |
My A started with the concept of an open marriage. I confronted my DH with the idea and after a lengthy conversation we decided to give it a go...I already had my eyes on my OM and DH knew it...DH went out a few times pursuing "tail" but his conscience got the best of him and he came home each time. It was shortly after that he changed his mind on the whole thing. My A continued and has been going on for just shy of 2 yrs now...
I often wonder what would be if my marriage had stayed open...does anyone have experience with this situation...where you openly engage in sexual and/or emotional intimacy with others outside of your marriage/relationship?
Liberal

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H and I met a few other couples, did stuff with some but not all. I discovered I really need to have some feelings involved or it just isn't any fun for me. We are currently going to "socials" every couple of months where it is fun to flirt, but I have no desire to meet anyone outside that club. H has a great time there also, but hasn't really found a couple that sounds that great.
About a year ago OM contacted me again. We began to see each other and the old feelings are still there. After a couple months I told my H I wanted to see OM again and he was fine with that. Currently OM and I see each other every 2-3 weeks. I wish I could see him more often but work and the distance we live apart prevents that. By the way OM is now divorced, but living with his girlfriend. She does not know about the situation.
Im_Justme
How can you belong on this board if your opinion is as you set forth in your post? He should tell his G/F as she may not like the idea of him shaggin me? LOL please clarify your post
Liberal
om and i recently had a very intense conversation of this and i discovered he is also interested in exploring this. if this is ever to happen..we agreed the other would always be present and we can stop it at any time. i love that he allows me to explore things deep inside of me. and it's not just sexual stuff. all on an emotional level. he wants to help me discover who i am, where i belong in this world. he wants me to do things i've only thought of to experience life. he is very adventurous in that aspect and that is what really attracts me to him.
I've never been monogamous, no matter how conservative, joyous, liberal, fulfilling, or happy the marriage. I can't say *why* this is true, but really, it doesn't matter. It just is.
My current DH (#2) is not the jealous type. When we met, I was engaged to somebody else. I continued that engagement for several months into our relationship. Then I had several flings while we were living together. I finally fessed up to all of my illdoings, expecting to piss him off and end up divorced again. He just said, "Oh" when I told him. He thought about it, and decided it really didn't change anything. I was a good girl for several years after that, thinking that my wild days were over and I had better control over myself...
I am pretty content with my relationship with OM. I wish we could see each other more often. It has even been discussed that he move in with us. H, OM, and I have no problem with that idea, but don't think the ex-W would go for it and might not let him see his children.
What types of rules do you have? I would be interested to know.
By the way my H has also had a relationship on the side. His was strictly sexual, and only a couple of times due to distance. I would not mind if he found someone to have a sexual relationship with. I do have to be a bit of a hypocrit and say I hope it remained sexual and didn't get emotional.
Im_JustMe
OM and I have joked about having a happy menage a quatre with our spouses, to include all of life - our homes, kids, animals - it would be quite a zoo! Of course his wife and my DH would never want that.
One thing OM and I have talked about is hooking up with another couple or woman, strictly for sex, but it has never gone beyond a couple of emails with potential people. I can't get my mind around the idea of just having sex with someone. It seems remarkably disrespectful of their whole personhood. My relationship with OM started out as romantic and friendly, not sexual, and I am just too many years - OK, decades - removed from my careless, selfish youth to do that again.
And I agree, some things are better left unsaid. While I wouldn't mind if my DH had someone else in his life that he loved emotionally and physically, I certainly don't want to know about it.
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