Are you still in love with H?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2003
Are you still in love with H?
9
Fri, 11-28-2003 - 9:09pm
This question is not meant to be maliscious or saracastic in any way. I genuinely want to know the answer to this: I'm really curious as to how many people on this board are still in love with their husbands and have no intention of ever leaving? I'm not thinking of the friendly, fondness kind of love, but the kind of love you had when you were first married. If you are still in love like that, what do you think brought you into having an affair?

(I'm asking because I'm wondering how I got to the point of thinking about another man when I love my husband with all my heart)

Thanks in advance for your input!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2003
Fri, 11-28-2003 - 9:46pm
At this point in time, I would have to say no. I love him, but I'm not in love with him any longer. I do not plan on staying in my M anyway, just biding time right now until things can happen. I have been in my EMA for almost 4 years, and it has only been recently that I would answer your question this way. For a long time, I would ask myself the same question you did; I told myself (and my MM) that the A was something that was just for me and had nothing to do with anything or anyone else. But that was before certain things changed, including my feelings for MM and his for me. When we first started, it wasn't something I was looking for, it just kinda happened, and we were drawn into it until it got deeper and deeper and now there doesn't seem to be any turning back.

Hope this helps!

Pony
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2003
Sat, 11-29-2003 - 12:08am
dazed

I honestly don't know -- yes, I love him, and no, I'll never leave him. Am I completely, psychotically in love with him? No. I don't know exactly what love is supposed to be anymore (or what the 'norm' is -- if there is a norm). I've thought about this a lot (and what exactly brought me to the point of having an A). I still haven't figured it all out!

Hope you have better luck!

Charlotte

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2003
Sat, 11-29-2003 - 2:25pm
I can truely identify with you, dazednconfused. I am still in love with H of 17 years and I have no intentions of leaving him. It is an almost perfect M and a very comfortable lifestyle with H. We both travel in our careers, which makes for a good M. I am enjoying my A, which only started two months ago. The traveling helps my A too! The A just happened while I was traveling with him and I discovered that I really like having him, too. The playing field is even, we are both M and want to have fun in our A.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2003
Sat, 11-29-2003 - 3:14pm
You know i do love my husband. I find myself looking at thinking he is so cute. I want to have children with him really bad. He is going to be such a great father and i look forward to the day we can have a child. (We are working on that)

I look at some of my friends and their relationships and I realize how lucky I am cuz he is such a good man. And he loves me dearly.

The reason I am in an A is because of the sex. My mm and I got together because we wanted to have some uninhibited, playful, experimental sex that neither of us could with our spouses. Of course, as with half the people on this board, feelings weren't supposed to get involved but they did. SO we have strong feelings for each other and mind blowing sex. That is the reason I am in an A.

Also, I enjoy the butterfly feelings I get when I see him..and the attention he gives me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2003
Sun, 11-30-2003 - 6:14am
H&ll no! He put out the last flicker of love or respect I had for him 10 years ago. For the sake of our children, I will remain and show him a level of respect for the sake of our children.

After they leave for college.......he's launched.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2003
Sun, 11-30-2003 - 9:14am
deleted


Edited 3/10/2004 4:50 pm ET ET by geek_chic
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2003
Sun, 11-30-2003 - 9:32am
I am totally in love with H. It's been ten years and I still know that he's my soul mate. MM gave me so much attention and he was someone I could talk to without the fear of arguing about money, etc. Plus, there were no kids around to constantly interupt. Recently MM said he's done with the relationship because I don't want a physical A- but I really love my H and I just can't do it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Sun, 11-30-2003 - 10:13pm

Hi dazed,


I do still love my DH... my love for him has certainly changed though... I'm no longer "IN" love with him... but I've found that I have a deep love for him and that and my children certainly keep me grounded and not about to go anywhere.


At the same time... I realised that I was beginning to love MM... I'm still not quite sure of that love... I don't feel I can be "IN" love with him either... when I don't really know this man as a whole...

Sweet
Co-Community Leader My

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2003
Sun, 11-30-2003 - 10:23pm
I am definately still in love with my husband. We have a fairly happy marriage. It is just all the extra emotions that OM brings to the table that make it so special. Will never leave hubby, just like the extra attention and love from my OM.