URGENT - man needs any and all help!
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| Sun, 11-30-2003 - 10:15am |
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message #: x.1
from: tonyshep
date: 10:13 am
I'm about to be arrested or committed...please help, anyone who can read this.
I began an EMA at the beginning of July. The woman was 24, I was 42...she lived with parents. This made things tough, but it was clear we cared about each other and were in love -- it started as romantic dating, not with sex.
We talked about my getting an apartment, then she said she would get her own. After some coaxing, I convinced her to let me live there for a while, but at last miniute she said no -- then said we could only be friends, This devistated me, and for 1 and a half weeks I was in psychiatrists offices, missed work for the 1st time in 6 years, etc. She wanted no romantic relationship.
During that time I text mailed her telling her i was sick, and she replied. Next thing you know, we were back together, and when she moved into her apt. I was LIVING there half of the week or more! I culd have stayed all week. She gave me my own keys, closet space, pajamas, everything I thought would never happen. It was a miracle!
But -- my wife was hurt, and I ended up spending more time back with my wife -- making excuses to the girlfriend about why I couldn't spend the night (had to watch my kids, etc.) I tried to break it up/slow it down on Halloween, but chickened out a day later, and we were back stronger than ever! A coupe of weeks later I thgouht going back to wife was best so I left a note and her keys in girldfriends apt ending it -- but a day later I chickened out, showed up at midmnight and begged forgiveness for 2 hours until she took me back.
A week ago I only stayed with her ONE night -- said I had daughter party to attend to and other things to so, so told her I was staying in my office. This I could tell upset her, and even thoguh she said to stay at my daughters party and NOT come to see her that night I rushed out to her apt. to set things right. She said she was boithered by my constantly "rushing t see her" at the hint of a big probolem -- I expained I loved her and wanted to nip these things in the bud, but I suggested if this and other tings (fear of her dealing with my kids, etc) were bothering her, maybe we should split.
After thanksgiving we picked up the conversation and she said she wanted to split, I quickly agreed, but guess WHAT? Next day, 6 am, I showed up at apt usinga spare set of keys i didnt tell her about and tried to reconcile. She was livid that i didnt tell her/return spare set of keys, *(she asked if I had one anbd I said no, but claimed I misuberstood what she said) she says its over.
What should I do? Go through the roller coasr again? I tried to break it 3 times -- or was that just guilt over leaving wife? Should I try to win her back ?? I feel like dying today and I dont know why!!!! Please offer some help!!!! SHuld I try to win her back????
If ou can talk one phone I would like to try that -- I have NO one to talk to about this!

Edited 3/10/2004 4:51 pm ET ET by geek_chic
best to you, i hope you do seek some mental health and get your head straightened out.
honey
Edited 3/10/2004 4:51 pm ET ET by geek_chic
I could be wrong, but one of the reasons of having an affair is to fulfill needs that aren't being met at home. They may be sex, emotional, support or whatever. In this case, it doesn't appear you are getting any of that. As such, why continue the relationship? True you do have feelings for this girl, but you also have a responsibilty for your children. A responsibilty that is the ultimate and one that you cannot just shrug off.
The only thing worse than one woman who is mad at you is two!! I catch enough BS from the one I'm married to. I can't imagine getting it from both sides. No wonder you're on the edge. Don't do anything half-baked. That's how lives are destroyed.
Didn't you date in your younger years and get dumped? We've all been through that. Stevie Nicks said it best: "Is it over now, do you know how to pick up the pieces and go home?"
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