Can U Be "Just Friends"

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Can U Be "Just Friends"
1
Tue, 12-02-2003 - 1:01pm
I love this board already! Reading through the posts really helps. I am just starting in this relationship which has been a great friendship for years. I consider him to be one of my bestfriends. I am so afraid that the affair will ruin our friendship. I have to say that I am in love with him - completely; but is it worth the risk of not always having him in my life as a friend. Right now it's phone, emotional but the sexual implications/attraction is there and we've made plans to meet next weekend. It's so intense right now, I'm just so afraid to lose him as a friend if this doesn't work. Any advice?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2003
Tue, 12-02-2003 - 4:26pm
nelleg,

I have been in a 3 year A (MM and I have been best frineds as long as I can remember). My advice is talk, talk, and talk, MM and I talked about everything, before we moved to sex. I had never been with any man other than my H, so honey I had issues!! but this has been the most wonderful R of my life, I can be myself with him, like I could hide it, he knows me so well. I too had alot of issues, like if we stoped the A would we still be friends? I think we could be, I know I would want to be. But since we are still deep into this I dont know the answere to that. I have seen it happen here where it ends on a bad note, or they try to be just friends and it dosent work. MM and I are still at times just like we were before the A, we talk about kid, jobs, and life in general. Not ever phone call or e-mail is all "hot". Getting to see each other is different, time together is precious!!

We also have so much respect for each other and our situations that I do not have to worry that he may get up set and tell my H or his W. If he is busy and does not call or e-mail for a day or so I dont go into a panic, We are I guess in what I call a Comfortable stage, we are just enjoying each other so much. What's the next stage? I hope for us it's Marriage, but that is still a few years out.

Really just talk to him, tell him you fears, and wishes.

Talk alot... I guess You can tell I like to talk!!

dayz