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| Wed, 12-03-2003 - 5:48am |
hi this is the first message i have written , i need some advice on this one how do i stop my husband from blaming me for everything that has happened in our marriage. he was both physical and emotionally abusive to me in our 17 years of marriage, he then did some time in jail for assaulting me. while he was gone i met a man that treated me like gold. we have both fallen in love with each other and want to be together,the problem is my husband, he will not let it go , he continues to threaten me leaves me at least 20 messages a day , telling me how i have destroyed our marriage by my affair, etc etc. i have two awesome teenage boys who are happy with my new arrangement also , my husband does not live with me but he continues to put a huge strain on my new relationship, and refuses to let it go. any suggestions out there how i can let go of the guilt of hurting my husband (as he says) and try and move on with my life??
thanks
thanks

Edited 3/10/2004 4:53 pm ET ET by geek_chic
you have serious issues with your H -- you need to get a restraining order immediately AND you need to make sure not to be alone outside in the dark - like walking to your car at night - or even at home, if at all possible. your H will certainly get so angry that he will come after you soon. jeez, he's already calling you 20 times a day and accusing you of breaking up the M. that's a hoot, isn't it?
YOU DO NOT OWE your (i hope!!) soon-to-be xH one ioata of consideration!! file for divorce immediately and get that restraining order served on him at the same time!!
heart, you are entitled to be loved, cherished and safe every moment of your life! don't let your H take anymore from you or your sons. life needs to be all about you now. H had his chance and threw it away!
good luck and stay safe,
gurl
Seeburg
Seeburg
Welcome to the board and Im so glad you decided to come out of lurking to participate and get support. I would strongly suggest that you immediately begin to document any and all contact you have with your H whether it is you contacting him or visa vera. Documenting this type of thing can be vital if criminal charges are ever being pressed. A restaining order is extremely important to assist in your safety and the safety of anyone else he is making threats against.
It may also help you greatly to seek counseling to help you sort through the whirlwind of emotions you are experiencing right now. I would hate to see you start a new relationship with your OM toting the kind of baggage you have from 17 years of abuse.
As a product of an abusive marriage your boys ARE very "impressionable" right now...it's not too late to show them what a real relationship with respect for yourself and others is all about.
*Hugs*
cl-liberalgirl
callmeliberal@hotmail.com