Party Last night/ Making the first move.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Party Last night/ Making the first move.
4
Thu, 12-04-2003 - 10:40am
oh man. i saw MM at a gathering for his office last night. i had no clue that the spouse's of the VIPs would be there. when i got to the dinner, i sat w/ a friend of mine. there were 2 other chairs. he promptly came over, sat his coat on the chair next to me. but then his wife showed up. YUCK! anyway. great dinner, good conversation. to fill you guys in, i used to work for MM. i was talking to his office manager (MM was standing at the bar- constantly watching me- gave me such great chills- knowing that he was watching me) but his office manager made me an offer for a job that I am not sure I can refuse.

I am not sure if he will want me working there again. MM and his W leave on Sat for a week in Ireland. They are separated so I have no idea why they travel together. He has said to me on many occassions we (mm and his w) make great friends but horrible lovers. I e-mailed him and asked him to meet me before he leaves b/c we need to talk about the job offer. I have to tell the Office Manager by next week. should i take the job??? it would be great working w/ him again. our offices would be right next to each other!

making the first move, i may have already said this. sorry for the repitition. a few weeks back. i e-mailed him. i said at the risk of total himiliation, i have a huge crush on you. he called me on my cell, said " baby, i am very flattered. i am twice your age. and you can do better." not quite a no but not quite a yes. the next morning we met for coffee. still flirting non-stop. do you think i should still try again. should i be more honest. i have been crushing on the MM for ever. i want more. and at the moment i don't care if he is MM and I don't care if he is twice my age. i love older men. what should i tell him.

input please! thanks.

Michelle (mic)

Avatar for nomoreregrets
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 12-04-2003 - 10:48am
Tired, I have one very important question for you. Why on earth would you care if he approves of you taking a job that may better your career? NMR
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2003
Thu, 12-04-2003 - 11:43am
It wasn't a yes and or no, you're right. One thing I wouldnt do is to put yourself out there too much. You've told him you have a "crush" on him and my guess is he thinks its just something you feel but he probably doesnt expect that you would actually act on it.

My guess is that old habits die hard and convenience is hard to give up and that is why him and his wife are still traveling together and going to parties together. If he's twice your age he's from a generation that is accustom to staying married even when the marriage is dead.

Are you sure you want to make a career move that will put you in an office next to his everyday whether you're involved with him or not? You may want to reconsider this career move...

cl-liberalgirl

callmeliberal@hotmail.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Thu, 12-04-2003 - 1:45pm
oh...thank you so much for replying. I don't really know if I want to work with MM again. We had a great time this summer working together. I left b/c of issues w/ my son. He has a birth defect. (e-mail me if you want more details.) We would have a good time together but we had a lot of people saying this summer when I worked there that we were having an affair. Which we weren't! Do you realize how hard it is to say anything w/o being afraid you are saying too much? My MM has had an A before and was caught. MM and his W have separate houses. The weekend before I told MM about my crush we were working together at the theatre. We were very touchy. He had his hand on my leg. I laid my head on his shoulder, etc. Just touching. He made comments to me about how beautiful he thinks I am, that he couldn't believe my H wouldn't sleep in the bed w/ me, that if we were together we'd being have sex all the time, and he'd make sure I knew how important I am. Well, here we are a month later and nothing. I know he thinks of my as more than a friend and I believe he would be willing to start something w/ me, I just don't know how to cross that bridge. I believe that he is afraid to make that first move. My best friend who has met him, thinks that he is worried I will reject him. Which I wouldn't. Maybe I should move on. I don't know. I want this to go to the next level. But again, we both have had EMA before and we both know about each other's. any more suggestions?

Mic

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2003
Thu, 12-04-2003 - 2:43pm
hi cookie

Love your name!! I am one of the rare women here who made the first move in my A. Your situation sounds somewhat similiar to mine at the time, although we didn't outright flirt (our work situation wouldn't allow for it), but like you, I had a definite 'feeling' as well.

The only advice I can give you is make it clear what you want (including the fact that you have no intention of breaking up your marriage, or his). Since he's had an A before, he might be leery of starting one up again for fear of more trouble at home (I know you said he's separated, but I would still tell him this -- put his mind at ease)....that's what I did! And DID IT WORK!!!

Men are pretty simple (too simple), maybe he didn't quite get it the first time:)


Edited 12/4/2003 10:27:01 PM ET by charlotte1203