Arrgggg!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2003
Arrgggg!
9
Thu, 12-04-2003 - 9:51pm
If it were a normal day. I wouldn't care what went on in his household.

If it were a normal day I could care less if the easter bunny was there, but the thing is it's not a normal day. It's the holidays.

And if it were a NORMAL DAY, I wouldn't be involved with him, but the fact is I am.

I just need to vent, :).

That's all.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2003
In reply to: isunshine35
Fri, 12-05-2003 - 8:07am
Im not so sure "normal days" exist in an EMA...

cl-liberalgirl

callmeliberal@hotmail.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
In reply to: isunshine35
Fri, 12-05-2003 - 8:27am
If there is such a thing as a normal day when you are in an EMA.. would someone please tell me how to get there?

 Seeburg    

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
In reply to: isunshine35
Fri, 12-05-2003 - 10:45am
yeah, really!! Is there anything called "normal"day in an EMA. Everyday is different. isunshine35, what happenned? Inquiring minds want to know>.. :-)
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: isunshine35
Fri, 12-05-2003 - 11:53am
what, aren't "normal days" in an EMA/A filled with veiled looks over the heads of ours, whispered phone calls for a few minutes during your busy day, plotting and planning to "meet" in the few days (or weeks!)..... at least that's my "normal day"......

gurl

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2003
In reply to: isunshine35
Fri, 12-05-2003 - 1:19pm
Welll, he's been stressing about work and other things and hasn't had the time to call or even email. He said it had nothing to do with "us". That he's having a rough time, but yet, it has affected us because of his not calling or emailing. I could do the emailing or calling, but it's harder to get a hold of him so I let hm do it.

Anyway, I found out that "their" (W & kids) having a christmas party. So a lightbulb went off in my head and I thought,"OHHHH, THAT'S WHY HE'S STRESSING!"

And I'm just upset at myself because I cried and was worried about him then to find out, not by him, that this christmas party is coming up.

How STRESSED OUT can he be then. I'm annoyed because he's telling me he's having a hard time, but it has nothing to do with us. Then turn around and host a party.

I want to believe him when he says it has nothing (his stressing) to do with "our relationship."

And I'm upset and annoyed that he's letting "US" get the brunt of it all.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: isunshine35
Fri, 12-05-2003 - 1:53pm
sunshine, take what your MM says at face value! if he says he stressing about work or whatever, he most likely is doing just that. be glad he says it's not your R with him. yes, he is not being as available and attentive as you would like, but after all, you are not his primary concern, his W and children -- and that holiday party too -- will always take precedence.

A/EMAs are supposed to be playtime and fun. everyday life intrudes every single day, i every single situation/relationship. so you must find ways to keep busy and not obsess on MM's homelife. you're stressing him out even more by being so upset and demanding. you're supposed to be his one on the side -- that means if the R/A/EMA starts evolving into a stressful situation, MM will walk away for awhile because he already has enough stress in his life. do you want to drive him further away? try to relax a little.

btw, BF and i are having a holiday party and he's stressed out because of all the prep -- painting, cleaning, food prep, all of which he's taking care of because i'm gone from the house 12-14 hours a day and he's there. so yes, there is plenty of stress to go around preparing for a party and all the other holiday stuff on top of it.

it also sounds like you're a little jealous that MM has a life other than with you. his M is his real life, you are his fantasy. MM will be back with you as soon as you relax and his stress level goes down.

BELIEVE WHAT HE SAYS and don't overthink it.

gurl

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
In reply to: isunshine35
Fri, 12-05-2003 - 2:29pm
oh, I am sorry you are stressed out because of him. DOn't let him do that to you. He is an adult let him deal with his party/wife. Plus its the time of the year when everybody even the lady in the front in the line in the grocer's store unloads her stress off on you! Don't think too much about, you'll be fine.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2003
In reply to: isunshine35
Sat, 12-06-2003 - 2:04pm
You're right. I am jealous,:).

And I do miss him being available and attentive. My 4 or 5 emails have dwindled to one right before he leaves work, and my one phone call a day, once he left work, has seized to none. I'm upset about the no phone call thing, cause he could still, at least call.

I know you are right.

I'm wayyyyyyyy over thinking this. I just got to sit back and relax.

Thanks Gurl.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2003
In reply to: isunshine35
Sat, 12-06-2003 - 2:16pm
That's true. The holidays are hectic.

I just need to not take all this myself so hard either.