what should I do? married co-worker
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what should I do? married co-worker
| Thu, 12-04-2003 - 10:13pm |
Hi All. Some of you may remember me from a couple of months ago. I wrote asking you if you thought a married co-worker was interested in me. He was doing some serious flirting, suggestive sexual innuendos, winking, brushing up against me, etc. The flirting was becoming intense from both of us. He'd "joked" about us dating. I'd become VERY attracted to him. We are both professionals and I was very cautious and concerned about getting involved. You all agreed that you thought he was interested in starting something. He is a flirt, but more so with me than with most. I cooled off for a while because I got scared. Now, I can't go a day without thinking about him. I realize I really do want him but I'm scared to make the first move because I'm afraid that he might reject me. I have this fear that he's just flirting. Others at work have said they think he wants more (at least when we've all partied together and he's been drinking). I'm quite sure that if he's had a few drinks, we could end up in bed together. Problem is our work schedule rarely works out that we can get together after work for drinks with a group of people. The only solution is to make a move and see what happens I think. But I'm scared to do this since we work together and what if he turns me down??? Or what if he doesn't and then it changes things at work??? But I can't take this much more!!!!!!!!!!
Has anyone else been in this situation?? Our flirting cooled down some, but I think it's because I haven't made myself available lately for it. I'm starting to again and would like to take it further. Should I let him know? How do I do that? Any suggestions. I'm dying here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't want to make a fool of myself. How can I suggest something and make it so that if he doesn't want to we can still be good work partners and still have a good work/flirt relationship. We are obviously attracted to each other.

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But be sure you understand the risk you are taking working with him...
Also...what is his and your marital status? You said people you work with think that he wants more - is that really going to be safe for the two of you with people already being able to see the sexual attraction between you?
cl-liberalgirl
callmeliberal@hotmail.com
Good luck and I hope you get good advice !
Seeburg
Well, I've thought of that. And yes, I would probably always wonder and regret. A part of me keeps hoping that if I continue sending signals or increase the intensity of the signals, he will make the move. But maybe he's scared too?? But there's such a BIG risk when it involves someone you work with!!!!!! And he's in a higher position than me. So I just worry how it would affect our work if he turned me down. Am I worrying too much?
Seeburg
Hate to say this but maybe he doesn't want to ruin his family life. I know it may hurt you but I was in the same situation. Hot with co-work but always in the back of my mind was my kids and how they would see there daddy as a cheater. My take on this, If something does happen do you think he's going to leave his family???? Don't mean to be the spoiler but I was in this exact situation and lost everything. I'm know he loves your attention and would do anything to get you in bed but once you've done the deed it will never be the same. Please trust me on this. Your setting yourself and him up for a big fall.
Joe
Believe me, I've thought about what you've said before. Yet I still can't get the guy off my mind.
Yes, I think that's part of it. How did your affair start? And how is it going?
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