okay- im scared

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
okay- im scared
3
Mon, 12-08-2003 - 6:22pm
just like everyone else i thought that if i cheated once- id get it out of my system. My Dh and i actually broke up before we got married because he was seeing his ex and i kissed a guy. We got back together after that. i think the only reason we are together is my son. Things have never been the same. He doesn't trust me, and i don't care. We married young and i'm too scared to walk away. I am young and i see myself working this out but i don't want my son to hate me-hes 4.

the guy im seeing does not know im married. I would not leave my Dh because i want to be with this guy. I don't think if he finds out im married he would be thrilled. i want to leave my dh because i don't want to be unhappy and i don't want him to be unhappy. he says we could never be friends- i don't know what to do. I do love OM but i also know reality. i'm tired of the lying-

help-

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
Mon, 12-08-2003 - 10:41pm
Chrissywags,

If you want to leave your H then do it but make sure to do it for you. As far as not telling your OM you are married if it was me I woould tell him. Keep as few secrets as possible its less confusing that way.

The lies were the hardest part of starting an EMA for me, there have been alot of lies to keep it all hidden.

Good Luck...It is a hard decision you are making

 Seeburg    

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Mon, 12-08-2003 - 11:49pm

hi chrissywags and welcome,


I couldn't agree more with seeburg... whatever you do about your marriage... do it for you! not for your H and certainly not for your OM... you need to find yourself and then what you want from your life... otherwise things may only go wrong again in the future.


I also suggest that you should tell your OM the truth... he needs to know that you are married and needs to make the decision to stay or go based on the truth.

Sweet
Co-Community Leader My

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Tue, 12-09-2003 - 11:06am
I've been spending a lot of time on my own thinking. If i do end my marriage, i would also walk away from OM. I need to concentrate on me. My husband says he thinks i am incapable of being married, that i'm too independent. Is that wrong? I was raised with a strong sense of who i am and that above and beyond i need to take care of myself. My son is always put before me. I am even the same with my Dh but i also need time to myself. He says i am different because we don't spend every waking moment together like our friends do. I don't work where i live and my close friends live an hour away. I guess i just need to feel like i am not the bad person. I know i could never tell DH about EMA. It would kill him. IF i left, it would be because i needed to figure out who i am again.

thanks for all your advice