Confuzzled, yet...

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2003
Confuzzled, yet...
25
Tue, 12-09-2003 - 11:06am
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Edited 3/10/2004 3:41 pm ET ET by geek_chic

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2003
Tue, 12-09-2003 - 2:20pm
Hi geek chic, I don't know your story, but it sounds to me like he has been missing you and is glad to see you. Your post caught my eye because my SG has been having a guilty conscience lately. I have been giving him time and space but it's driving me crazy. His birthday is on Monday and I want to contact him but I don't know if I should. It's been 2 weeks since I have contacted him. How much time and space did you give your SG before he started coming around again? C
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2003
Tue, 12-09-2003 - 2:36pm
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Edited 3/10/2004 3:42 pm ET ET by geek_chic
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2003
Tue, 12-09-2003 - 2:47pm
deleted


Edited 3/10/2004 3:42 pm ET ET by geek_chic
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 12-09-2003 - 3:56pm
girls, i'm gonna say it one more time -- DON'T ASK, DON'T TELL!! you must be patient and wait for the guy to volunteer how he feels and he will, gc, just like you said in your last post about how "perfect" you are for him! don't push for something he's not ready to admit, even if you know it's true.

patience and keep your self-respect!

last word today, i swear,

gurl

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2003
Tue, 12-09-2003 - 7:06pm
Geek Chick, yeah that's me the premature ejaculation guy, LOL! Well, he is in town, he lied about being gone for a few weeks. Big surprise there! I have not contacted him since Thanksgiving, and it is driving me crazy. I really thought his problem that night was he was SO SCARED of my H finding out. He was at my house for 3 hours and scared most the time. He even had me turn all the lights out. I mean he was having a panic attack. I try to think that he is thinking of me, but I know he won't contact me. It's just how he is. I want to contact him for all the reasons you stated but I also agree with gurl on this one too. I just know I will never hear from him and if I want to try again with him it will have to be me. I know he is a jerk, I just wanted the excitement and miss it. The big problem is his birthday is on Monday and we are/were friends. I want to acknowledge it. I also need to talk to him about an event coming up in January. I don't know what to do. I am already so confused, and sometimes I even get more confused when I come here...LOL. Gurl, please don't let it be your last word...I need your wisdom, C
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 12-10-2003 - 12:41pm
okay, cowboy, i remember him now! sorry, but there are soooo many stories on this board, sometimes i can't remember who's who.

i just posted to you that there's no timeframe for guys who are out of contact because they get the guilts or are scared. whatever.

contact your SG AS A FRIEND, using only FRIEND language. like "happy birthday to you" -- no "miss you", "wish we were together", none of that. throw in, in a casual way, "we have to discuss the upcoming event, so please give me a call when you have a moment" nothing more. be nice, civil but not flirty! let SG get his bearings back. jeez, he does sound like he's terrified to be with you. why is that? do you have a big, bad policeman for a H or something?? give SG some space and a brief b-day message. let him get back to you. if he doesn't, you have your answer about some kind of future R with him.

keep it short and sweet!

gurl

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2003
Wed, 12-10-2003 - 12:59pm
hi gurl, I think he is so afraid because about 5 months ago I was at his house and my H saw my car there...I got out of it with lies, but it freaked SG out...he still talks about it...he thinks my H has me followed. I don't understand why he is so freaked because he is single. He says he has never had a run in with a H and he never wants to. But, he did come to my house that night in spite of all of that. That is why he made the comment that we can't be at his house, or my house, or a hotel...he said he can't perform being so freaked out. So maybe he won't want to put himself through that stress again. That's what I am afraid of. He is a weird sort of guy. Maybe I'm wrong, since I have never been patient enough for nc for months, but I don't think he will contact me. I think he will forget about me if I don't contact him. I was thinking of leaving a phone sex message on his cell on his birthday, I thought that would be sexy, but then just say Happy Birthday, bye, not call me or I miss you or anything like that. I have an e-mail in my draft right now that is very light, just talking about an event, asking if he will be there and how his new job is going. I don't know if I should send it now. I think he will be out of town on his birthday. I don't know if I should call. I'm thinking that maybe I should just stay nc and take my chances. The thing is, everyone told me to not contact him again several months ago and I did and we had ic, which I'm glad about. So, see how I am confused. I am so thankful for your opinions, C
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 12-10-2003 - 1:56pm
hey, don't be thankful that i'm so opininated!!

NO SEXY MESSAGES!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 12-10-2003 - 1:59pm
hey girl, i sent the last one before i finished ---

NO SEXY MESSAGES! send a nice b-day greeting and a short, short discussion about the "event", but nothing else. SG is the scared one, he knows you're available to him but you don't have to "beg for it" so let him come to you. SG needs to demonstrate his ability to want to be with you, or the premature performance anxiety and scardy-catness will plague your R forever. he needs to get over himself!

that's all i'm gonna say.

gurl

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2003
Wed, 12-10-2003 - 2:04pm
Thanks...C

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