What's going on Boston?...

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2003
What's going on Boston?...
17
Wed, 12-10-2003 - 11:28am
you sound very down today! Just been reading through everything this morning and your posts caught my attention. How are things with you and Foxy?...come on, spill your guts and tell us. Let it out!!


Charlotte

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Wed, 12-10-2003 - 12:22pm
Edited


Edited 4/26/2004 2:20 pm ET ET by boston53
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 12-10-2003 - 12:31pm
boston, why do you put yourself down like that?! stop it now!!

just because foxy is living her everyday life (as you are) doesn't mean you are a fool for loving her! but reality IS her marriage, the holidays, she's with someone else, going somewhere else and you're by yourself, or at least, without her. just the facts, sweetie. sorry to have to point that out, again.

now what can you do about it? how about looking forward to the next time you two are together? how about getting out with friends and family, even if you don't really feel like it. buy foxy something and wrap it up and give it to her the next time you are together, even if she cannot keep it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2003
Wed, 12-10-2003 - 1:18pm
Boston

You are not any of the things you have mentioned. You are in love with her and this is no easy thing. It’s the holiday season, and yes, she’s married, so of course she will be off with her H, family, etc. (I'm sure you expected this -- I guess you didn't plan on how much it would hurt when you heard it). But, gurl is right -- look forward to her return, remember that she will be thinking of you, plan something special for her, go out shopping for her (although, I believe shopping therapy is only known to help women:). Keep busy. If you think along these lines you’d be surprised how easily you can snap yourself out of it.

Boston -- she is thinking of you. My MM is in my mind all the time -- I can’t get him out even when I try (and we haven’t confessed feelings for each other like you two have). Keep remembering that while she is with HIM, she is thinking of YOU!!

As far as her leaving her husband, just take this one day at a time and see how your relationship progresses. Be strong and confident (even if you aren't inside). One day at a time!! Remember, “Life is what happens to you while your busy making other plans.” John Lennon

Charlotte

(quoted my quote wrong!)




Edited 12/11/2003 9:45:31 AM ET by charlotte1203

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2003
Wed, 12-10-2003 - 1:22pm
gurl

Great advice as usual, my fellow in-another-lifetime groupie wannabe!!!!

I'm outta here for the day....

Charlotte

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 12-10-2003 - 2:01pm
i know you're gone charlotte, but i hope you see this post tomorrow (or later!). really good quote from john about life! you can be one of the triplets - you, me and nmr!!

boston, honey, hang in there. life will look better in a minute!!

gurl

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2003
Wed, 12-10-2003 - 2:35pm
I think we're all going to be in the same boat the week of Christmas. I don't know if all of us will be able to, since we'll be with spouses, but maybe we can all check in here for some support...those of us who are around. Because we'll all be going that week or two weeks without seeing the one we love. Sometimes if I'm out of touch with MM and have no way to speak to him, I'll write him a letter. That helps. I never give the letters to them, but it helps to feel like I've communicated with him. I find it interesting that you felt devastated and didn't tell her. I've been so sad about not getting to see MM lately as much as I want, and I feel like because he doesn't say or show it, he's not bothered in the least by it. He specifically told me in advance which days he was taking off for the holidays so we'd at least be out the same time, so I know he was bothered by it. Because HE doesn't show his feelings about these things, I've stopped showing mine. You may be in the same situation (I've been gone a while so I'm not 100% sure about your story), but I wonder if sometimes MM doesn't tell me how he's feeling because I'm not telling him. But my pride simply won't allow me to put myself out there if he's not going to.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 12-10-2003 - 3:31pm
lilah, keep a rein on that pride thing. men don't show their emotions like we women do. just because MM is more laid-back and not as expressive as you'd like him to be isn't the reason for you to withdraw from him. he'll sense that withdrawal and be less communicative and the cycle goes down from there!

MM told you when he would be gone for the holiday stuff so right there, you know, he's considerate of your feelings by keeping you in the loop for his plans. just be careful you don't push him away because of his "perceived" non-responsiveness.

write to him, but also tell him how you feel if you're hurting or upset. i'm sure your MM will calm you down and make sure you are feeling better even if you can't see each other as much as before.

hang in there, honey!

gurl

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 12-10-2003 - 3:44pm
"lilah, keep a rein on that pride thing. men don't show their emotions like we women do. just because MM is more laid-back and not as expressive as you'd like him to be isn't the reason for you to withdraw from him. he'll sense that withdrawal and be less communicative and the cycle goes down from there! "


That's an excellent point, gurl! I have been reading lilah's post a lot here and she seem to so afraid of rejection and I think (I don't know her first hand) pride plays into a lot of her troubles. lilah this is not a bash, but gurl makes an excellent point that I couldn't stress enough myself!!


Edited 12/10/2003 3:45:41 PM ET by learning_french

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2003
Thu, 12-11-2003 - 9:44am
gurl

Yippee!! You like ME, you like ME!!

Love that Lennon line...always in the back of my mind.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Thu, 12-11-2003 - 10:06am
Edited


Edited 4/26/2004 2:22 pm ET ET by boston53

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