What to do about X-mas party
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| Wed, 12-10-2003 - 2:03pm |
The first party we had I wore a slinky black dress and my H said I looked "not like the other ladies there". Which was not true. The difference was I was the youngest woman there and had to dance w/ one of my co-workers, not MM, as a joke for the last door prize alone on the dance floor w/ all eyes on us. So we got alot of attention that year, especially me.
Anyway last year, to avoid conflict I wore a nice silk blouse and black skirt, nothing to draw attention to myself and appease my H. (Still didn't keep MM's eyes off me though-:wink:)
So this year I bought a "knock-em dead" black dress because I want to torture MM that night while he is there with his W. This dress shows every curve on my body. I have been going to the tanning bed and have gotten my tan back and am going all out w/ hair and nails too. One problem....my H. We have had several arguments about what I am going to wear. He said I should dress like MM's W does ! LOL! I refuse to dress down this year. He says I am dressing up for someone...I said yeah...myself ! Do you all agree that he is being just plain possesive and acting out of jealously ? Even though unbeknownst to him he has a reason to be ?

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so how important is it to YOU to wear that black dress? every single man in my life, including MM, has tried to tell me what to say, where to go, what to wear, even what color nail polish i "should" wear. and you know what? i've done EXACTLY what i wanted to because i can! simple as that.
soooooo, you go ahead and wear that dress if you want to! you will have a few more arguments with H, be the "talk" of the party, and MM's eyes (and other parts!!) will follow you all night. but so what. will you get fired from your job or will your H divorce you? nope.
so go for it and enjoy being strong and beautiful and desired!!
HAPPY HOLIDAYS honey!!
gurl
Now, I do have a question. Last summer I got a tan and some confidence and MM started paying attention to me. I felt sexier than I had in my entire life so I bought some cute little sundresses. They weren't that bad...the skirts were a little short and sometimes the tops might have been a little low cut. People at work FREAKED OUT. They started saying I was having an affair because I was "dressing differently." So I got rid of those clothes and started dressing a little more conservatively. (Not quite conservative, though...still sexy.) Now if I dare wear anything with the slightest cleavage showing, they start whispering again. My question to you and everyone else is, do you find people talk about you more because of the way you dress? It's as if they expect you to play the part... Sometime in the last month I started not liking the person I saw in the mirror. I missed the nice girl-next-door me. I LOOKED like someone who was having an A. So I got rid of even more clothes and now I'm wearing more sweaters and such. Still sexy, just not quite so out there. I'm actually back to the way I dressed before the A...partly because it's cold like it was before the A (which began in May!) but partly because I want to be the old me. The one I liked when I looked in the mirror... I have some sexy clothes and I'd like nothing more than to wow MM at the Christmas party, but if I dare wear anything sexy, they'll all be sitting there whispering about how THAT is the woman who's having the affair with MM. They'll probably do that anyway, but if I look the part it's going to be worse... I guess just overall, is this an issue for anyone else and if so, how do you handle it?
So wear that dress and walk into that party like you are the hottest looking DIVA there. Cause you know you are!!!!!
dress however you want to, that's your choice. you only have to please yourself and be able to look in that mirror and like the woman looking back at you, dressed or not!!
i had the same issues. BF met me with blond hair, in tight jeans with an orange (my fave color) sweater, chewing gum and drinking beer from the bottle. after a few months of dating, he started trying to change me by "mentioning" that he thought it looked low class for a woman to drank straight from the bottle, or chew gum. AND that he liked dark hair better than blond..... after several of these comments, i finally asked him why on earth he was interested in me in the first place since i was ALL the things he didn't like (he couldn't quite get to "hate")? he said he was trying to "improve" me!! so much for only women trying to change their men! i did go back to light brown hair because that's my natural color and i was tired of dying the roots every month, but i changed nothing else and we're still together, almost 11 years now! and BF stopped saying anything about what he did or didn't like about my wardrobe and drinking habits.
and btw, MM has never asked me to change anything or act differently or be untrue to myself and i would NEVER put up with that nonsense now anyway!
the upshot is -- be who you are, for yourself!
gurl
i had that kind of M too. and i felt horrible about myself, not desirable as a woman at all. until i went out of state to visit a sick girlfriend and a male friend of hers paid me a compliment on my hair that had me looking at him with my mouth hanging open. i didn't know what to say since i hadn't had a compliment for, oh, at least 10 years from H.
thank god for your MM!
gurl
Lilah, knock 'em dead, sug! They won't know what hit 'em!
gurl
Edited 12/10/2003 4:16:21 PM ET by chrissywags
Can you believe he wanted me to wear pants ? LOL !
You all really made me feel better about myself. I am going to go and have a good time next weekend.
~Blue
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