Should I or shouldn't I??
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| Wed, 12-10-2003 - 3:38pm |
MM and I have been in a long distance (he lives 3 1/2 hrs from me) EMA now for a little over a year. The last few months our communication and ability to see one another has become minimal. Outside from the awesome sex that we experienced together we also became the very best of friends during the last year. He started a new job this fall that has caused us to have to slow things way down. At first I wanted to end everything and move on with my life, but he asked that we maintain some sort of friendship or something. So, at this point I am just trying to be there for him, as he is under an immense amount of stress!!! He still tells me he loves me and calls me his baby, etc... but that is the extent of it, everything else is on a superficial level when we talk. I really don't even know how to talk to him anymore.
Here's the question.... we had been planning a trip together for January. We really won't be able to have much communication between now and then, especially with the holidays in the middle. Part of me is afraid to meet him, of course it will stir up so many things, but I will be moving within 6 months from the state we currently live in and this will be our last time to really "be together". Do I go and just enjoy the heck out of it, or am I setting myself up for more hurt and heartache down the road. I had been on the "Ending an affair" boards for quite a while and their thing is NC (no contact), and that is what I intend on doing after our trip. If it wasn't for the trip I would start NC now, it would be hard, but I think this time I could do it. He has mentioned that he doesn't want NC, but his life is so crazy right now that I really don't think he'd notice.
Sorry this is so long, but any opinions or advice would be welcomed. I hope this made sense!
~Serenity

do you want to see MM one more time to enjoy him and your time together, and to have closure before you move on?? if you do, then see him in january and be honest with him about your feelings and the end of the A.
if you don't think you can handle the added stress/heartbreak, then maintain NC and let MM know you won't see him in january or ever again. i know it's hard, but you have to decide what is best for YOU!! think about it honey.
and believe me, he hasn't "forgotten" about you, he's adjusting to his move and added stresses. unfortunately, the "other" person in these situations comes last, insofar as consideration of contact and time together, even phone calls. just the way it is.
but luck you, you have two boards to go to for support and help.
hang in there,
gurl
~Serenity
and then i would go back to my life full force. and when and if MM's workload (or whatever) lessens by may and the two of you can be together, so be it.
however, if you're moving further away from MM when he returns, your decision will be made for you at that time. everyone is "left" where they started in life when a R ends, whether it's a lover, friend, or partner.
good luck,
gurl
Good luck and let us know what you decide.
Anna
Thanks again!
~Serenity