my how the tables turn

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2003
my how the tables turn
2
Thu, 03-11-2004 - 4:35pm
It is so funny last year about this time I was on the affair support board trying to deal with my husband of 4 years affair, and know here I am truing to deal and understand mine. I feel so bad but at the same time so alive. This man has so many of the same values that I have minus the adulterous one’s he makes me feel beautiful and wanted and sexy, all the things that my husband does not. I know I am being so selfish but this men wants, well at least while he is with me, he wants to please me. And my husband is only to please himself. Lets start form the beginning. When we got married my husband was into a lot of different things like threesome’s (I know that is a different board but here me out) and freaky things like that, and it was okey at first but after 2 kids a house and jobs, I kind of started to want more, more of just us you see my husband cannot be satisfied sexually with just us. Normally if we are having sex he is asking me about something that I did in the past that was freaky or having me tell him about who I have been thinking about having sex with or who he would like to see me have sex with or what he would like for someone else to do to me, things like that never us never just I love you and you make me feel so good you know it is always some sort of freaky fantasy that he need to have acted out in his head in order for him to be satisfied, now don’t get me wrong at one time this was what I desired as well to be with a men that allowed me to have sex with other man, as long as he was present of course and being able to be put in different sexually situation. Watching my husband having sex with other women and me and him just doing our thing was a lifestyle that I thought I could enjoy. But I started to want more and I no longer wanted to do these things as often as he did and this frusted him for he told me that I know what he was into b4 we got married I know what he liked. And yes I did but I don’t know I really thought that yes it was nice and it was fun but I thought that I would eventually be enough, but no such luck. After I told him that I wanted it to be just us. He started to have an affair. The funny thing about it was it was just with one women he wasn’t out there having this women do for him what he wanted me to do it was just them he was giving her what I wanted him to give me his time his attention his body just for me not having to share him. This affair went on for about a year then I found out about it, and he ended you know saying the usually that he did not want to loose his family and that he wanted to work it out but I was so hurt. Especially when he told me why he cheated because he was not being satisfied. Well I have been doing our sex thing his way even Thu he knows what I Desiree. So when I finally was able to actually have sex with my other and to have in him what I want in my marriage. I don’t know what to do my other keeps telling me that he wants to be with me but he knows I will never leave my husband. I mean my h was nothing he did not want to work nothing b4 we got married now he is a sup at a call center he is making by himself double what we made previously and he has so much potential to make us so much more. But with all that aside he doesn’t make me happy what he wants doesn’t make me happy. He wasn’t ready to leave he wanted his cake and eat it to. I don’t want that I want to be with my other I do I cannot stop thinking about him but I have 2 kids my other doesn’t make a lot of money. I am so confused

Pls help me

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2004
Thu, 03-11-2004 - 4:45pm

hi cherronwalk and welcome to the board!


honey you are confused because the "rules" of your M have changed and you don't know how to deal.

CL-Gurlfriend50

Co-CL of My Affair Support Board

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2003
Thu, 03-11-2004 - 4:46pm
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Edited 10/1/2004 7:08 pm ET ET by sally289