MM having a baby
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MM having a baby
| Sat, 03-13-2004 - 3:27pm |
Hey everyone. During anyone's A's did anyone's OM have a pregnant wife or was having a baby? Did it change the A when the baby arrived or even prior? Did it end the A? We started the A after finding out she was pregnant, so I wonder if it will matter. Any men out there with input on how having a baby during an A affected you and the A?
MM's having a baby in a couple of months and I even get to help plan the baby shower at work, fun huh? :\
MM's having a baby in a couple of months and I even get to help plan the baby shower at work, fun huh? :\
I was just wondering...
ibc

I wanted to give you all the details so you knew how my situation was similar to yours and how it is different. I am in love with my OW and that hasn't changed and won't change after the baby is born either. But then I've worked through a lot of my issues in counseling so I have a confidence some men may not. No one knows if his feelings will change except him because no one else really knows how conflicted he may be inside. All you can do is ask him and take him at his word. If he is lying, you will be hurt. But part of any relationship is putting your trust in the other person. I wish you luck as you move forward and please be understanding as his emotions are likely to be pulled in every direction imaginable.
Hi ibc,
I've been on both sides of the coin in regards to this.
Sweet
Co-Community Leader My
I feel honored to get a reply post from you! :) I see how well respected you are on this board and you always seem so honest and give good advice. I was hoping you would respond to this one. Unfortunately you and my MM are very different. You obviously love you OW very much and want a future with her and are taking steps towards that future no matter how difficult it is for you and your W. My MM does not love me, we are in a new A, 3 months, and he never talks about a future together. I don't think that what we have is strong enough to hold through having a baby. It took him a little while to deal with his guilt with the A and continue it, but to have a baby involved, I could imagine it must be very difficult and since he does not love me, he probably will end it. That makes me very sad, but I knew his W was pregnant when we started this, but couldn't help it. Again thanks for sharing. You are a good man and a brave one to stand up for what you want in your life and still be supportive on your W even though you are both going through a difficult time. I am glad you have found happiness with your OW and still hope for the same for your W. Take care.
ibc
Regarding your situation, I think your best approach is caution. If he has always viewed this as basically a FWB situation, you're right that he is likely to end the A after the baby is born. He will be overwhelmed with the emotions of bringing a child into the world and will want to deal with his homelife first and foremost. You should probably prepare yourself for this fact and in the meantime, move on with your life a bit. This man doesn't see a future with you so odds are there won't be one. But you do have a future and there is no reason you shouldn't be pursuing it. I'll be honest, I think this man will eventually come back to you. Even if he isn't in love, I'm sure he enjoyed your R as it was and won't be satisfied without it. But this may not happen for months. And by then, you may not want things back the way they were. But you can cross that bridge when you come to it. For now, plan on moving on without him. I know this will be difficult for you, but for your own sake and his, you'll have to try. Good luck and if you need support, don't hesitate to ask.