Has this happened to you? Affair & Child
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| Wed, 03-17-2004 - 9:40pm |
Almost a year and a half ago I had an affair with a (married w/ a young child) co-worker who works and lives two states away. Our feelings for each other have never been at question (although we have never said "I love you"). From the first time we saw each other we just knew we met each other too late. The first time we had sex, I got pregnant (what luck). Before I found out I was pregnant, we still saw each other. I flew out to see him twice a month (easy to do with my line of work). I knew the baby was his, as my husband and I were having problems and hadn't had sex in three weeks. OM and I were very confused with what to do - but after we both freaked out for a few weeks, we decided to keep the baby. We talked almost every day through out my pregnancy. It wasn't until I was 8 months pregnant that my husband brought up in an arguement that he didn't think the baby was his. Not knowing what else to say, I reassured him it was his. Now the baby is 5 months old and looks like a "mini-me" version of OM. OM has seen many pictures, but has not yet seen the baby in person, but has plans to next month. (We are both nervous about that!) Since having the baby I have gone to see OM three times. (He has a new local job that doesn't require any travel so it is extremely difficult for him to be gone). We have not had sex since prior to me finding out I am pregnant. OM says that he is afraid of what will happen next.
I am going to see him tomorrow and we are going to discuss things once again. He doesn't want to leave his daughter - but wants to be a father to his son. He is completely torn. I told OM that I would not tell my husband the truth if I could not be with OM because I could not have two part time fathers for my son. (I also have another child with my husband). We told each other over the phone today that we wanted to be with each other... but do not know the next step. He would most definitely have to move out here with me and the baby.
I also told OM today that it was too difficult to go and see him if he wasn't sure what he was going to do. I hate going out there to see him when we just sit there and stare at each other and talk ourselves in circles. It's so emotionally draining... but we have this connection. We have both discussed it would be devestating to both of us if we cut the ties... but is that what we should do?
Has anyone ever had any experience with this? I am just in need of some advice and knowing what path you chose... did you make it work with OM or stay married with the secret? Please help!
Thank you for your kindness!!
