What is he thinking???

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2004
What is he thinking???
5
Thu, 03-18-2004 - 1:10pm
I don't know what to make of what MM does and says. Friday night he called me (I think he was drinking) anyway, he does this every once in a while, he'll start spilling his guts about how much he loves me and how he can't live with out me and how some day we'll be together openly. But then nothing ever changes. Matter of fact... the first time he told me he loved me was about a yr. ago and I was sooooo happy and excited. I guess I thought when you tell somebody that, that you're moving to the next level, right? well... a couple of months later he tells me his W is pregnant! Isn't that mixed signals? What is he thinking? Does anyone have any idea where he might be coming from? or does this scenario sound familiar to anyone? I'd really appreciate any input. Thanx.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2003
Fri, 03-19-2004 - 7:50am
I feel for you. My MM man does this all the time. He told me that his wife is pregent and then told me like i should be happy. Are you like me?? Have you not told him how you feel. Do you keep it in like me due to you could lose him?? Hang in there. What i dont understand why they get there wifes pregent due to if they are having affars. It takes two i know this. My married man planned the baby. They tried for years. It broke my heart when she got pregent.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
Fri, 03-19-2004 - 8:08am
Are you ladies single? If you are, I think its a damn shame that these cakemen are using you. Because it seems that's what they are doing. Carrying on with you, saying they love you, meanwhile planning and starting families!! What a double-sided sword that is !!

Hope you can find some happiness either with these guys or preferably without if you are single. I hate to see these MM string along single women like that. Take care,

Dusty
xxxx
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2004
Fri, 03-19-2004 - 11:32am
Thanx for the input. But, I am married, so I guess I don't have a whole lot of room to talk. And I sort of did the same thing he did. We were having an A and I got pregnant(intentionally) because I knew he wasn't ready to leave his W for me and I wanted a baby. He kept reminding me of that fact whenever I'd get upset about them having a baby. He kept saying, why was it okay for you to do it but not me?! Do you think he was just using that as an excuse, or does he have a valid point? I think the difference is ,I would've been willing to leave my H for him, before starting a family, but I didn't think he was ready to do that. Plus, I'm not getting any younger, my biological clock was ticking.

Well...thanx for listening (or reading)

Unsure

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
Fri, 03-19-2004 - 11:48am
Well you're both married and neither planning on leaving M. So just take it as it is then, he says he loves you, I would be happy to hear that. I guess he is right, you had a baby , why shouldn't he start a family too? Speaking as a MW with a MM, I think you just have to go with the flow. Be happy with the way things are right now, because they probably aren't going to change (I know for me they will not). Take care,

Dusty
xxxx
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2004
Fri, 03-19-2004 - 1:47pm
I definitly do have a difficult time telling him exactly how I feel. I guess I am scared that I'll scare him away, that's why I always wait for him to tell me he loves me before I say it to him. I'm not sure if that's good or bad. Anyway... I did kind of expect that she was going to get pregnant, but it didn't lessen the pain any when I did find out. How did you deal with that? I totally freaked out! but sure enough I got over it, and everthing is fine now. (as much as it can be.) I guess they can seperate the two. Like me, I really wanted a baby, and I thought this is my chance, it didn't mean that I love my MM any less. My biological clock was ticking, but guys don't have that problem, so I'm not sure why they do that. Guys, you can't live with them...you can't shoot em'! LOL