Keeping it a secret vs. needing alibi

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2004
Keeping it a secret vs. needing alibi
8
Fri, 03-19-2004 - 9:57am
Question for all you experts out there (which you all are...I am amazed by some of the advice I see posted on this board...ya'll are the best!).

Keeping it a secret is clearly important, but at the same time I need an advocate for helping to creat alibis.

If I am ever going to be able to sneak out of the house for a few hours for a quicky in the car (like he wanted me to do on monday night - but I couldn't think of an excuse) I am going to need a best friend/advocate who can back up my stories should I need to escape husband and kids for a few hours unexpectedly.

What do I do?

Does any one have any iron clad excuses that they use in situations like this that would not require the need of a friend to back up the story if need be...

OM and H are both out of town this week, so no need for any immediate stories, but I want to be prepared with an alibi waiting in my "hat" the next time OM extends an invitation like he did on Monday...
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2003
Fri, 03-19-2004 - 10:15am
My MM sprung on a night on me too one night a couple weeks ago.. I said I was going over one of my friends house to just hang out.. she doesn't have a phone, so it's not like she's gonna call looking for me:)..

What about going shopping to pick up a few things.. just after you really do have to go get a few things..LOL

i know those are the classic ones, I use those. My H doesn't "catch on" easily. I know it's low to say, but it works..LOL..

maybe someone can add some ideas for you..

chrissluver

Gina
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
Fri, 03-19-2004 - 10:21am
This may not be of help, but can you join a gym that's open late? I belong to one (and go regularly). But I keep my "secret things" in my gym bag also and I'm ready at a moment's notice to meet MM.

I've invited H to go with me to the gym, he always declines. Anyways, I don't meet MM during the evening or weekends anyways. But if I did, that would be my story, and I'd be sticking to it !!

dusty
xxxx
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2004
Fri, 03-19-2004 - 10:40am
Well, I have a couple. I tan, so I may have a last minute "tanning appt" to spend time with OM. But Shopping is a big one, and so is going to the library. I'll go during my lunch hour at work or something, and buy stuff. Clothes especially, and then tell H that I need to pick up a few things, and get home late with bags of stuff (the receipt always mysteriously disappears...hmmm...) And I'm a reading fanatic, so I can read forever. I can really spend hours and hours in the library, so that is always a viable excuse for me.

But I do have a friend, she knows everything, and I use her when I want like a Saturday with OM. I'm going to visit so and so. Then I call her and talk to her on the way there, and all the way home, so she helps me come up with what we did together and I can dish about what I really did with OM.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2004
Fri, 03-19-2004 - 10:45am
Here's a funny story about one of my gf's. She took a "cake decorating class" so she could spend time with her OM. Well after a few weeks her H told her, she'd better come home with a cake..LOL!! Luckily, she did, but it was kind of a challenge (it couldn't look store bought) He never questioned her after that!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-10-2004
Fri, 03-19-2004 - 11:22am
No expert here, but if MM called and offered time together, I'd be running out the door and worry about my excuse later!! LOL

Anyway - for me, work is a great excuse - and the stopping at the store one too. If I was home and had to head out, I'd try the vague "errands" - although sometimes H wants details; have a few things that you've been meaning to do ready - keep stuff for Goodwill in your trunk etc. Would it be weird if you said you were going to a movie? Sometimes I try the "I need time to myself" track . . .

Good luck!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2003
Fri, 03-19-2004 - 11:43am

No one (besides you ladies and gents, lol) know about my MM and me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2004
Fri, 03-19-2004 - 5:48pm
Good suggestion, but won't work for me. I am actually a Pilates trainer and spend all day and most evenings in the gym teaching classes and giving private instruction!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
Sat, 03-20-2004 - 6:17am
Oh well, it was a thought anyways!! Its too bad you can't try and get together when H is busy like at work or something. That's what we do, get together during the afternoons on workdays and it works really well for us.

Because I don't know about you, but I cannot face my H and lie to his face about where I am going. He would definitely be able to see right thru me.

I feel alot safer the way we are doing it, I don't have to make up any excuses as to where i am, who I am with. I'm at work, H's at work. He never calls me during the day and for the past 2 years, its been working out very comfortably for us. Good luck to you!

Dusty
xxxx