Old Timer here....anyone remember me?
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Old Timer here....anyone remember me?
| Fri, 03-19-2004 - 5:47pm |
Good evening. I found this board about 4 years ago and had made some wonderful friends here. I have been off for over a year, but am looking for them now. For those of you that don't know me, I've been where you are, further than that and back again. I won't give all the detail, but for 4 years I have been with my MM, he left, never went back. We had the usual relationship ups and downs, nothing out of the ordinary with a relationship that begins as an A. I have come to love him and his children dearly, and they have all returned that love. Problem???? He couldn't commit, couldn't say "NO" to W about anything. It took me 4 years to say goodbye, if you won't commit, then we are over. That was 6 weeks ago, we have worked together throughout the relationship and continue to today. Yesterday, after only 6 weeks of us not "seeing" each other, I felt in my heart that they were talking reconciliation so I asked. I was right, boy how your heart can just tell. It is new, these talks, and he is not sure if he loves her or not, so he says. He says that is something that he needs to figure out. So, I tell him the door is closed, we cannot be friends, have lunch together, laugh together, nothing. Co-workers and nothing more. He cries, says he loves me and will miss me and that he thought I was dating (DUH). So, I tell him that I hope he finds happiness, love, I hope that he finds what he is looking for. He says "Well, I've got some things to decide". All that took place yesterday. Today, I bench pressed 1000 lbs., at least it felt like it. I stood my ground and would not associate with him at all if not business related and absolutely necessary. It felt good, I had a bad moment, but have a great support group of women where I work who will kick me right back to the angry state. He was very angry all day and obviously frustrated. Too bad.......Anyway, just wanted to let all of you know that no matter what happens in your relationships, love yourself and don't lose your self respect. I did for a couple of years and have finally gotten it back. Believe it or not, men look for strong women, not women who will whine and cry for attention and/or affection. I have much experience in this area (A), I've essentially been in one for 4 years.....if I can help, I will be happy to. Much love to you and yours...
C

My affair is still ongoing, he is 15 years my senior but a very young 65, and i love him with all my heart. He will not leave his wife, she is ill, he is retired, recouping monetarily for him would not be an option.
I have also complicated my life more by recently getting in touch with a high school flame, one whom I also thought was the right one for me, but he had left me in high school, and we never were able to reconnect. Apparently he has felt the same way, we have started talking and met once.. we live 2000 miles apart and he cannot leave his marriage, has a very sick child.
There are days when i think i am so lucky to have the love of these 2 men, and days when i think neither one of them deserves my love in return. We all deserve to be first in someones life, and while they both tell me I am.. the reality is they have wives they have chosen to stay with. Yes, I am married also, but we live separate lives in the same house, children are almost gone.
I applaud you for finally saying enough and moving on with your life, I have tried twice to do that and could not stand more than a few days with out him. Im glad you were able to do that for yourself.
Good to know some of the "oldies" are still around.
Edited 3/26/2004 11:01 pm ET ET by happygal71
So "L" is still being a jerk I see. Did you finally remind him about the door hitting him in the butt on the way out? lol.
I've tried so many times to email you, with no luck. You didn't answer back. lol.
A few of us "oldtimers" still keep in constant touch even though we're all out of affairs now, and it's good to know you're still around.
Hold you ground darlin, and don't let him push you back into something he's not ready for. You've been hurt enough over the years.
luv ya
"Scanner".
C
Love you
"Scanner"