New...Need Opinions

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2003
New...Need Opinions
6
Sat, 03-20-2004 - 6:02pm
I am in the beginning of an EMA with a MM. I deeply care about him and he feels the same for me. We started as friends and it has grown into a lot more for both of us. It isn't physical yet, but I know that it won't be long. I want to do the "right" thing and walk away, but this man is what I have been looking for for a long time. I got out of a bad relationship about three years ago and while I have had "friends" since, I never thought I would feel this way about anyone again. I guess what I want to know is if you could go back to the point where you made the decision to stay or to go, would you change anything?

Thank you in advance for your advice.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Sat, 03-20-2004 - 6:26pm
Ya I would have run in another direction if I new then what I know now, once your in getting out is real hard.

F

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2003
Sat, 03-20-2004 - 9:19pm
FFFFFFFRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! How've you been Yank??!!!

numbersgirl...

You're going to do what you're going to do (I think) and I can't judge because I did (and am doing) it too. It's not easy, and even though most people here know these things rarely have a happy ending, well, we do it anyway for one reason or another. As of now, I have no regrets...the future...the stats on me not having regrets aren't in my favour...

All the best...

Britty

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2004
Sat, 03-20-2004 - 9:29pm
I have to agree with Britty, I don't have regrets yet.............. but I have to admit, part of me is scared of the future. I realize that's probably no help whatsoever...sorry. I wish you the happiness with whatever you decide. Let us know.

Unsure

Avatar for jennlynnk
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2003
Sat, 03-20-2004 - 10:11pm
You know that purely logical part of yourself, that part that sucks all the emotion out of a situation??? That part of me wants to tell you to run!

You know your purely emotional part...your heart and your soul, the part of you that wants to jump into life, roll around in it, do what your told not to do just becuase you want to LIVE and to hell if it's messy??? THAT part of me says GO FOR IT (that part of me always wins *sigh* LOL).

Remember that lame christmas movie...miracle on 34th st is it? Faith is believing in something when common sense tells you not to?? That's how i feel about my A.... the amazing sex i have and the amazing love i have. it's not logical, it's probably not smart, sometimes it's not even fun, but damn, does it make me happy! i believe in what MM and i have no matter if it's "right" or if it's meant to last forever or not.

Good luck!!!

jen

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2003
Sun, 03-21-2004 - 9:32am
Thank you all for your responses. The posts on this board have been so helpful. I can't talk to any of my friends about what is happening in my life right now because to them the decision seems clear. jennlynnk, you hit the nail on the head with what I have been wrestling with. Do I take the safe (and what the purely reason side of me is screaming SANE) route and walk away while I still have the strength to do it? Or, do I let myself get carried away with how I feel when I am with him and to hell with reason? I know in my heart already that it will hurt in the end, but a large part of me thinks it just might be worth it.....

I will keep you all updated. Thanks again.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
Sun, 03-21-2004 - 3:32pm
I don't have any advice just empathy. I am a MM who recenty had an EMR, one night. I am torn between continuing in this relationship, or leaving it now, i guess while i still can. She is recently divorced and I am for all intent and purpose happy. But i do desire OW terribly. I can't stop thinking about her. But then my kids, W, life, future plans, all enter into my mind. It has been a huge rollercoaster of emotions the past week. Guilt is huge. I should probably do the right thing also, and stop at the ONS. OW wants to continue with an A. Sounds like form these boards the A usually ends up in a lot of heart-break. Maybe its better to have that now with OW before it gets too serious.

Good Luck.