Thinking the Worse!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Thinking the Worse!
4
Mon, 03-22-2004 - 12:05pm
Hello everyone,

I know, just by reading the posts on this board, that I'm not the only person here that will think the worse in certain situations.

My MM is due back from vacation tomorrow. I actually have butterflies in my stomach today, in anticipation of his return. I've missed him a lot during the past week.

The only problem is, I keep thinking the worse, and am actually thinking of different scenarios in my head about how he is going to end our relationship. Then I feel sick.

Why do we do this to ourselves?

He has given me no indication whatsoever that he is going to do this, in fact, he has told me things that he is looking forward to doing in the future, yet I can't seem to help myself.

I think I'll just feel better tomorrow, once I hear from him (I hope).

Anyway, this weekend I was really down. My H kept asking me what was wrong, but of course, I can't tell him.

Well, I just needed to get that off my chest. Keep your fingers crossed for the big day tomorrow!

Red

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2004
Mon, 03-22-2004 - 12:32pm
Hi Red! I read your post and thought to myself..that sounds like me! I overthink everything about my R w/MM. I personally think that it's because it's not a "real" relationship..if you know what I mean. I, although, we talk everyday typically, don't think that you get the same feel for how a person is/what they do etc. Maybe other's feel different..but, just last week MM told me I need to relax more. Sometimes, he says thinking joking to me and I take them the wrong way!

Just think about how great it will be to hear from him, see him etc. Last summer..my MM was away for two weeks w/the family! Boy..did I have every single scenario in my mind going! It will be fine..I bet he's looking forward to seeing you as much (if not more!)

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2004
Mon, 03-22-2004 - 3:55pm
I know exactly what you mean. Whenever time passes and I don't get a call or IM from MM, my mind starts playing tricks on me. I figure I've said something wrong, or he's upset, or anything but the truth....he's probably just busy. Because he always calls or IM's me eventually and everything is alright. He thinks I'm nuts, I'm sure, because I'm always asking if everything is OK. His reply? Of course it's ok...why wouldn't it be?

I think it is because our relationship isn't "out." If we don't hear from them, we assume the worst. It's human nature, I suppose.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-14-2004
Mon, 03-22-2004 - 9:09pm
I suffer from paranoia big time lately. My situation is a little different though. I'm the MM and my OW is single and younger than I am. She is also 300 miles away and we haven't seen each other in a month and probably won't for another couple of months. We talk on the phone almost every night, but that isn't really enough. Sometimes I get this overwhelming fear she's going to end it with me. But I also feel like I have to be strong and not show my fears or it will inspire fears in her. So I'm left bottling up all my doubts. It sucks, but I feel like with all this time and distance, it is important to keep things on a very positive level. Whoever said absence makes the heart grow fonder was a fool.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2004
Tue, 03-23-2004 - 1:50pm
I overthink everything also about my MM also. Sometimes I get so down. When he's away he is always attentive and makes an extra effort to speak to me often. We always talk every day whether he is away or home. Also see each other almost every weekday when he's home and occasionally some time on weekend.