~IN HOG HEAVEN~
Find a Conversation
| Thu, 03-25-2004 - 2:35pm |
Okey-dokey...where do I begin?
My MM has become a bit distant lately...and I've been a total psycho b**** about it...
The more he pulled back..the more I pushed...the more I pushed...the more he pulled back ...
I screwed up the other evening...he'd sent me an e-mail with "Your buddy, Brad" at the end...saying that he was on his way to his plants for the week...needless to say I freaked on that one...
So, later that night, I called him...he's called me from the hotels he stays at there before, and I had numbers from using my phone card as opposed to his calling on his cell...
Needless to say, he was p*****...said he'd call back, and then didn't...
So last night the phone rang...he asked me if I'd called every hotel in Wausau to find him...and I explained that I still had the numbers from before...
Then we talked...and talked...and talked...
He's been stressed to the gills because of things going on in his life...problems with his company (lawsuit that's cost him 35 grand so far, discrepancies in inventory...meeting with the bank coming up...and he's terrified they may call his loan...)...he turns 53 next week, and a friend of his just had a heart attack...so he's been distant trying to handle all of it...
And that's where the "MACHO" man vs "SENSITIVE" woman, Mars v Venus kicks in...
I want to talk when things are going badly...he wants to cocoon...
So we're dicussing feelings...and that he doesn't want to hurt me...and he's in tears...which of course makes ME cry too, and makes me love him even more...
::::SIGH::::
He's so spooked by the "R" word...because he doesn't feel he can give me what I want...that his mind is so jumbled up by everything else that he needs to concentrate on...
But then still says he needs ME...
Grrrrrr.....
He tells me it's hard to talk to me as friends, which is one thing we have vowed we will never lose...because there is so much passion in the rest of our relationship...that he wants me so much at times it hurts...but with all going on, doesn't have the time...
We finally came to an understanding, and he's hoping that he'll be able to see me after the meeting he has here on Monday with his banker...
YIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!
(and he forgave me for calling him at the hotel)
God it's nice to post something positive in MY life for once!!!
Love all you guys and gals for being here!!!
~Laurie~

If only . . . . . .
MM and I are the same way - I want to talk about everything, I push. He clams up, buries things and backs away. Makes me nuts. I'm trying so hard to learn that there's absolutely something between us and if I'm just patient, he always comes back . . .but patience is NOT a virtue!!
Hope things continue to be positive for you!