new to board..but do i fit here
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new to board..but do i fit here
| Thu, 03-25-2004 - 6:34pm |
Hi to you all...I found this site actually on accident...boy I'm glad I did!!! How great to be able to share experiances. Let's see how quick I can condense a 30 yr.A.
Started in,(H.S. age) He was older,unhappy with 2 small kids. Always honest with me from the start. Continued with A for 7 yrs. (wife was aware and seemed ok with it at first...assuming it would pass) His life got really rocky after about the 4th yr. W new I was more than just a passing fancy. To me it did not matter..I was not M. By the 7th year I began to worry about being the cause of his M failure. So I packed up and moved far out of state(other end of the country) It was there I met my H. Tried really hard to forget MM. stayed away for about 2 years..no contact(He did not know where I had gone)
Had a family illness that took me back to town...Lo and behold here is MM. Just could not resist...went back to my home...and could not function without being in contact with MM.
Job changed..had alot of travel opportunity.. started seeing MM each and every time I came to town. This went on for 20 years. Finally had enough, had to be close to MM, and relocated entire family 3 years ago....IT HAS BEEN THE BEST THING I HAVE DONE. H and I have no real communication after 25 yrs. oldest children have grown and gone, only a couple left at home. And my life is more complete now that MM and I can see each other as often as we want... My family knows about the original A...but all assumed it was long gone..they see MM and I as best friends (which we are, with PERKS) My M is at the end, this I have known for the past 5 yrs. His M is on last leg...Anyone out there with a truly happy ending.....This is what we are looking for. There are so many others involved, that decisions are tough to make....how much living hell can come from this once we are both single...or are we better off continuing as we have until death do us part???
Started in,(H.S. age) He was older,unhappy with 2 small kids. Always honest with me from the start. Continued with A for 7 yrs. (wife was aware and seemed ok with it at first...assuming it would pass) His life got really rocky after about the 4th yr. W new I was more than just a passing fancy. To me it did not matter..I was not M. By the 7th year I began to worry about being the cause of his M failure. So I packed up and moved far out of state(other end of the country) It was there I met my H. Tried really hard to forget MM. stayed away for about 2 years..no contact(He did not know where I had gone)
Had a family illness that took me back to town...Lo and behold here is MM. Just could not resist...went back to my home...and could not function without being in contact with MM.
Job changed..had alot of travel opportunity.. started seeing MM each and every time I came to town. This went on for 20 years. Finally had enough, had to be close to MM, and relocated entire family 3 years ago....IT HAS BEEN THE BEST THING I HAVE DONE. H and I have no real communication after 25 yrs. oldest children have grown and gone, only a couple left at home. And my life is more complete now that MM and I can see each other as often as we want... My family knows about the original A...but all assumed it was long gone..they see MM and I as best friends (which we are, with PERKS) My M is at the end, this I have known for the past 5 yrs. His M is on last leg...Anyone out there with a truly happy ending.....This is what we are looking for. There are so many others involved, that decisions are tough to make....how much living hell can come from this once we are both single...or are we better off continuing as we have until death do us part???

Hi miamine... what can I say? pull up a chair... of course you belong here hon :)
and wow!! I know this sounds silly... but I can only hope that my EMA lasts that long... I don't ask or want for anything more than he can give... I just enjoy him in my life and completing it.
I can't give you the answers you are looking for... and my normal advice would be to take things slow... take time out... and then get to know one another... but after 30 years... I would imagine... affair or not... you two must know each other pretty well.
Sweet
Co-Community Leader My
I guess my point is this.. if all you can have is to be close and be friends with benefits, well then thats all you can have. But if there is anyway at all you can find a way to be with this man fulltime..DO IT! Youve made some big moves so far it seems, is he willing to also?
I am an old member of this board... havent posted in probably 2 years, but your message sort of shouted out to me.
By the way, I am an old member of this board because i have been having an affair for 4 years with a wonderful older man who will never leave his wife. That relationship may someday become an reality, and i love him dearly, but i will have several hard tough decisions to make if we ever end up together, mainly giving up my old love from high school... crazy life huh??
Plus now we both have grandkids.... His grandson and one of my younger daughters go to school together.....That's what we worry about ...the effect it will take on the people we love the most. therefore we continue to talk daily and see each other once or twice a week... and try to determine whether we are just totally selfish in our own needs and wants verses what we should or should not do to the others closely involved in our lives.
I guess i was hoping that someone out there had already experianced what we are on the verge of doing...and if it will ruin our lives as well as all the others that are involved. when MM and I are together, we talk about it all.. being happy ,truely content in our lives with one another, or sacrificing our own personal needs for the sake of all the other involved. I really hoped to find more response.. but I guess this is not your typical A. MM and I laugh alot about the whole ordeal, but so very much want to be together is we can find the right way. Even talked about writing a book.....Make enough money and everyone would be happy.....(lol) again..Thanks
Who do you want to spend the rest of your life with? Your H or your OM?
I think your kids are old enough to understand that you want to be happy the rest of your life, not just existing.
I'd want to spend my "golden" years with someone I love and WANT to be with, and I think that your kids are old enough to understand.
~Laurie~