opinion needed

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2009
opinion needed
5
Tue, 01-27-2009 - 2:38pm

Hi,


I'm new here. Not sure if I am on the right board. Not even sure that I am in an affair.


Briefly my story is this: I am married 18 yrs, 2 kids.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2008
Wed, 01-28-2009 - 11:36am

Hi,


Your story sound very similar to mine. I would be so interested to hear what others think.


I also don't know how to end my friendship but I really want to get him out of my head

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-25-2007
Wed, 01-28-2009 - 12:58pm

First off, welcome to the board. It definitely sounds like an EA to me since you mention your H not knowing how close you are with the other man (OM). As you have seen on here EA's and PA's are both serious business and not to be taken lightly.


If you choose to pursue it, you are in for a rollercoaster ride and a half. I encourage you to carefully consider the fallout bouth personally and professionally before you take this to the next level.


My honest opinion is that you should RUN. That comes with much genuine concern since my own A is a professional as well as personal relationship and it is the most difficult thing I have done. I wouldn't trade my AP for the world or the relationship that we have, but when things are tough (see a couple of my recent posts) it is hard to be home and it's hard to be at work (which was my escape) and I can't be with him. It really is a lonely road sometimes...you need to know that at this point.


There are all kinds of A's but they do boil down to the fact that you are participating in something that is typically "forbidden" and if /when discovered will cause pain for more people that you realize.


Consider it carefully, read here, learn from others mistakes.


-Mom


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2008
Wed, 01-28-2009 - 1:21pm

I strongly believe in - if you love someone,show it ( or tell them ).He expressed his love and is living with a kind of unrequitted love-- not a nice feeling! He might always love you but nothing hurts like believing that your object of affection doesnt feel the same.

That said,if you tell him, it will lead to an intense EA.He is S,he will want more.Will you be able to ? Keeping your feelings to yourself is hard and not good for health.

Good luck in whatever you choose.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2004
Wed, 01-28-2009 - 1:56pm
Also if the H is also involved in the work he is most likely going to pick up what funky is doing sooner or later. You can bet on it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2009
Wed, 01-28-2009 - 7:29pm

Hi, OP.