My story and advice needed

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2009
My story and advice needed
5
Sat, 01-31-2009 - 11:42am
Hi - New to the boards and want some advice... PLEASE!

I have recently got myself into a huge mess and do not know what to do... I am messing with my marriage of 11 years with 2 kids (8 & 4). I think I have fallin in love with someone else and in that process I have completely shut down my emotions and feelings to my DH and cannot get them back. I have been told by DH that I cannot contact this guy anymore and I understand his point of view, but what if I want to? I can't stop thinking about him. He loves me and says he'll move

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2008
Sat, 01-31-2009 - 2:01pm

A guy who asks you to leave your H for him is no good news,IMHO.

Decisions of this nature are better not taken in a hurry.Take your time.If the other guy is yours, he will wait and will be with you through thick and thin.But he is already showing you that if you dont do what he wants,he will go and find another girl.Sorry,but i can sense controlling nature.You have kids,will this other man be a good dad if you plan to marry him? He is basically pushing you to take a hasty decision.

Take it from an older woman,this man in my opinion, is no good.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2008
Sat, 01-31-2009 - 2:11pm

First off I'm sorry that you are going through this, but you need to take a good look at the overall picture before making any hasty and possibly regrettable decisions.


You say your DH is a great dad, and a wonderful man - so what is wrong in your M

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2009
Sat, 01-31-2009 - 2:13pm

I have to agree with Funky that this guy sounds controlling. He wants you to leave your H yet he is with another woman and claiming his love to her? How long have you been with him and how often do you get together? How well do you really know him? I think you really need to evaluate this situation with a clear level head. You have two young children to think about. I take it from your wording that you left the house without them? Is this what you really want to do? I certainly understand falling in love with someone else, and I am not judging you on that, but please think this through.

One of the things I respect most from my AP is that from the very start, he told me he was in love with me but that he would never ask me to leave my H. He said he just wants to be a part of my life in whatever way he can. If and when I am ready to leave, he will be waiting.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2004
Sat, 01-31-2009 - 2:13pm

here is a quick sobering thought. How about you divorce your husband ASAP so that I or some other single woman can have a great guy. You can keep the guy who plays with married women and keeps his local going too.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2009
Sat, 01-31-2009 - 3:13pm

Thank you everyone.