i just got dumped...
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| Sun, 02-08-2009 - 12:28pm |
I got an email from AP today--that's the only way we communicate unless we're together....
He told me that he's been thinking about things and he just can't continue. We've been together since November, I know, not that long, but we emailed each other constantly through the day, found out alot about each other that way. I saw him at least once a week sometimes twice. I knew I was starting to get attached to him and he did tell me that he was having a hard time separating his emotions from the sex. I didn't know what to say to that, so I let it go.
Lately we'd been having some deep discussions about our marriages, I think it bothered him how hurt I was about my H cheating on me. I know, call me a hypocrite, it's a long story, sigh....
Anyway, we did touch a little on that, he said he wouldn't want to hurt his wife that way....but that was about a month ago, I figured he had it all worked out...the last time we were together he asked me how someone who knew him for 15 years doesn't really know him. He was unhappy with her emotionally as well as sexually.
So today he emails me and says that he didn't want to put his wife thru the pain I'm enduring and that he didn't want to put his kids thru the change that would certainly occur if we were discovered...
I know I'm rambling, I'm just really hurting right now....
Thx for listening--

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Thx, I think what I'm going to miss the most is talking to him. Every morning he would send me an email just to say good morning....
:(
Yep, I agree. He saw what it could do and I admire him for stopping it before she found out. I wish my H was the same way, hell, even after I found out he still tried to meet her.
Anyway, I tried so hard NOT to talk about personal things with him, and I never TOLD him anything outright, he guessed by something I said, asked me if it was true, I didn't lie to him. I didn't talk about my personal pain at all, he must've picked up on it....
I'm so sorry. No matter that it is the right thing to do, for the best, blah blah blah - it HURTS like hell.
I too have only known my AP for 3 months, and fell for him. He told me with great conviction that he did not feel guilty about cheating, as our being together felt so right.
But when his wife discovered an email, he stopped everything, and as we speak is now trying to make it up to her.
Like you, I miss the good morning emails and texts, the constant contact. He is slowly starting to contact me again, and I'm not sure what will happen. But if it is obvious that his wife's feelings are more important, than it is best for everyone to let go.
I guess we should be grateful that these men actually care about their actions, and don't want people hurting. You will hurt, but it is a pain that will end.
HUGS.
I have to agree with you again bewitched - and I can so relate.
My last A was just an EA - and only lasted for a few months- but it was the most intense connection I've ever felt with a man - or maybe I'm just letting myself believe that because he was such a challenge...God only knows.
I agree with you, I don't want to be that girl either. I always thought in my head that once the A was not fun for either one of us it would have to end. I just didn't think it would be this soon, and I wasn't really ready... :(
Although, I guess I never would have been ready....
sigh....i miss him already and it hasn't been a full day yet
I know I just need some time, but....
tgif, our A "ended" almost 3 weeks ago.
Thx for the kind words! I'm sorry to hear about the hurt your breakup caused. I do know that he's doing the right thing. I have to say though, the irony is killing me. His wife is a lucky woman, yeah, he made a bad choice, but he corrected it and all because of her. I wish my H was like that....
I know I can live without him, it was just nicer when he was around, lol. I know he is hurting as well. I did reply to his email. I told him that his wife was a lucky woman, I told him that I would miss him and I wished him luck with his life. I figured that would be the end of it...nope, he emails me back, tells me that my H is lucky and that he hopes that the two of them realize it before it's too late. He said that he will also miss me. He sent me yet another email a few hours after that. I didn't respond.
Part of me does wonder if he'll attempt to start up again, but in my mind, he made his decision, now he's got to stick to it....
Tgif, you are handling things with such composure and grace.
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