Do You Think He'll Be Back?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2008
Do You Think He'll Be Back?
4
Fri, 02-13-2009 - 10:40pm

Hi everyone -


Some of you have already read my story.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2008
Fri, 02-13-2009 - 10:48pm

Hi,

I am not sure if he will try to resume or not, but unfortunately he may start a new relationship with someone else when he gets stressed at home etc. I hope I am wrong.

As for being happy, I doubt he ever will, but maybe he will learn how to tolerate.

I hope the best for you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-24-2008
Sat, 02-14-2009 - 8:30am
Hey Green2008...your AP sounds a lot like mine. I'm not going to go into al the details, I've got a post "rollercoaster ride continues" that tells my story. He has been married 21 years and has cheated on her before. With me, he fell in love and actually left her, more than once...5 times to be exact, but not for very long. I'm sure, yours, like mine, will continue to do the same thing because it's evident they are not happy. My MM and his wife had their daughter while still in high school and he had no intentions of ever marrying her, but his family kept pushing them together and when they're daughter was 2, they married. They were only married for a year, the divorced and a couple years later they started seeing each other again and she got pregnant so they married again. She lost the baby and he said that by then, all the back and forth with each other, they decided just to stay together and raise their daughter. He said the first few years were okay, but then it was just something that was comfortable. They didn't do a lot together and were never that close...he cheated on her more than once, because he says he was never really happy with her and never felt like she was his soulmate. The women that he saw were just fun flings that neither wanted anything serious out of it but he said he always felt he was looking for someone that he could truly be IN love with and that, (unfortuneatly) was me. He told me that he doesn't hate her, he cares about her because they were friends that had grown up together, but that's all the further his love for her went...so with all that said, why does he keep going back to her? Why does he tell me that he is IN love with me and needs me, wants to spend his life with me, but then turns and runs back to her? I guess what I'm trying to say is, that it's apparent with your MM and mine, that the history, the family, the money, bills, the COMFORT ZONE all take precedent no matter how much IN LOVE they are with us...they cannot break themselves from the only lives they've known and venture into a new, unknown, scary future with us. They know their wives, they know what to expect from them, they know they will always be there for them no matter how crappy they treat them. Yours is a little different as he still has a young child, mine doesn't. Although his daughter does still live at home, she is 25 years old but is very good at making her father feel guilty, so his wife isn't alone in her quest to throw those trips out there. Hang in there, Green...you are SO not alone.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2000
Sat, 02-14-2009 - 1:52pm
First of all, there is always the chance that despite his past behavior, he actually HAS had a huge moment of clarity and truly wants to change what he has been doing. But I think the question that's more important is why would you want him if he did come back? You know he's a cheater, that you have been just one of several (and these are the ones you know about), and his method of handling problems with his wife is to cheat and lie to her, rather than face them. Doesn't sound like a winner there. Doesn't sound like relationship (which I'm sure is what you're really wanting) material there. So why? If I were you, I'd be glad he's given you this out and take it and run. You don't need this guy in your life. Why would you even want him?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2008
Sat, 02-14-2009 - 2:22pm

Well, I guess I look at his record and know it does not look good.