So much for an A
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| Mon, 02-16-2009 - 12:26pm |
Whew! Its been a month since D-day.For reference, i am SW and my AP is MM.There was discovery ,he moved in with me.they were going to file for D but this discovery has made the W firm on 'making things work'.Earlier she didnt know about me but ever since the d-day,she has created so much drama that it has left me and AP, both drained out completely.I understand her being shocked and not in her senses most of the times but come on, she was ready to D !! its kinda 'if i cant have him ,no one else can'.
I guess A was better than trying to be in real together.its exhausting and draining.for now he is with her again and we are continuing our A.My AP has asked me to move on as he thinks he is not being fair to me.I cant do that.i am completely emotionally invested in him.
they end up D or not, we will have to see.I am for now just supporting my AP the best i can.She is keeping tabs on him , but what the ? she agreed on D.I am rambling now.
thanks for listening.

>>>"She is keeping tabs on him , but what the ? she agreed on D."<<<
My question would be. Why is he going back with her? Didn't he agree to a D too??? I would stop focusing on her and shift that focus on him. Why is he letting her have all the say in this even to the point of telling you "to move on". Makes me think he's just not that into you.
Look, two people can get a D even if one doesn't want to. But two people "CANNOT" make a M work if one is not willing to be in the same page.
"People spend a lifetime searching for happiness; looking for peace. They chase idle dreams, addictions, religions, even other people, hoping to fill the emptiness that plagues them. The irony is the only place they ever needed to search was within."
- Ramona L. Anderson
The answer to your angst is staring you right in the face. He wanted to divorce, moved out and in with you. Annnnd....back he went to her. He is telling you he thinks you should move on. Unfortunately, he is too weak to not see you. I would be willing to bet that a lot of is because of the sexual relationship, while you probably believe it is emotional. Thus his reason for telling you to move on. He knows that you are "emotionally invested" in him, while he isn't. Not enough anyway. There is probably at least a part of him that wants to do the right thing, thus encouraging you to move on, hoping that will end things so he doesn't have to. I am sure there is some fear there on his part of how you will react if he tells you it's over completely.
Look, he went back to his wife. He's married. He's off limits to you right now. You're way past this being a fling. For you to continue is just emotional suicide. I'd like to be able to give you some sort of hope in this thing, but I can't because I don't believe there is.
Take his advice...move on and save yourself further heartache and frustration, which is all I see in your future with this man.