Not quite an affair...what do ya think?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2009
Not quite an affair...what do ya think?
2
Mon, 02-16-2009 - 12:37pm

How do I sort through all of this that is happening?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2008
Tue, 02-17-2009 - 2:33pm

You have problems at home you need to sort out. Adding a OM into this type of a mix could get very ugly and dangerous. It's like adding crap onto the loads of crap you're already carrying on your head.

I would suggest, forget about getting involve with a OM for now and decide what you need to do with this troubled (from the start) M. Clearly you both need counseling, but if he won't go, then go by yourself. Maybe the T can shed some lights into why you are striving to keep this very dysfunctional lifestyle with your H and now contemplating adding more drama into your life. What is the pay-off for you in all of this?

it is all very chaotic (base on your post) and something's gotta give (which is probably the cause of your health issues). Hopefully a T can help you sort it out. Your M problem is like a broken bone and getting into an A with OM is like putting band-aid on a broken bone. It is not the cure, could only potentially get fatal. You need to get down and fix the broken bone first. I think.

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"People spend a lifetime searching for happiness; looking for peace. They chase idle dreams, addictions, religions, even other people, hoping to fill the emptiness that plagues them. The irony is the only place they ever needed to search was within."


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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2000
Tue, 02-17-2009 - 5:33pm
You haven't done it yet, so there's still time to pull your head out of the sand a.k.a. affair fantasy land. Getting any further involved with this man would be like throwing gasoline on a fire. It's not fair to your husband, it sure isn't fair to this man. You've got problems in your marriage. Either put your foot down and demand that your husband go to counseling with you or leave him. But don't go getting someone else involved in the drama, especially looking at the trouble that is already going on concerning him. You're using this man and the idea of an affair with him as an escape from your unhappy life with your husband. Classic affair case. Been there, done that. Newsflash....it doesn't solve anything and makes everything worse. You came here for a reason....listen to the people on this board and then heed the advice.