For those of you in long term A's
Find a Conversation
For those of you in long term A's
| Mon, 02-16-2009 - 4:46pm |
an honest question here... How do you do it, keep it a secret for years and years? I've only been in my A for 3 months or so and can barely keep the secret, my H barely gives me a second to breathe.
So, questions:
- do you communicate often? Do you have a secret phone or use a work phone
- do you see each other often? If so, what do you tell your H or W?
- How do you not want more? be happy in your M but keep the A going? I have a hard time with being happy with both
I'm sorry, and just naive about all of this but cannot imagine keeping this going for years without getting caught.
TIA

Pages
There are many stages to an A.
We communicate through work phone and cell phones only.
- do you communicate often? Do you have a secret phone or use a work phone
Your story is exactly how I want to be in my A as my H is really good to me and loves me a lot. One more question for you though, do you ever worry about what you'd lose if you got caught? and how do you handle that? That's where I'm at now, is the benefits/thrill/excitement/passion of the A worth losing my H and tearing my family apart. I think I know the answer, just don't want to admit it yet.
Hey, great question. My best advise it to keep perspective. It's very easy to get caught up into. Keep in mind what you want out of the relationship. AP and I have been together for 4 years. We are both married and have no intention of leaving our spouses.
So, questions:
- do you communicate often? Do you have a secret phone or use a work phone.
We communicate only during business hours. We don't work together anymore, but we still need to communicate for business often. So we have a good cover. We NEVER text or email anything that we wouldn't want others to see. I mean NEVER.
- do you see each other often? If so, what do you tell your H or W?
We see one another as often as our schedules allow. So once a week or every other week. Sometimes we are lucky enough to have a happy hour with mutual friends. We are truly friends first, so it's so fun to just hang out together.
- How do you not want more? be happy in your M but keep the A going? I have a hard time with being happy with both.
As I said at the opening of my post. KEEP PERSPECTIVE! That can be very hard but you have to remind yourself what this is. You obviously are missing something that you seek. But probably have a decent marriage outside of that thing. So remind yourself. My MM and I talk about our real lives and our marriages. We don't speak ill of them. We did in the beginning of our A. But i think that was to justify what we were doing.
hope this helps! Welcome!!!
Ican...We had sort of a discovery day a few years back..I had told
Hi well to answer some of your questions.
Wow, Kitten - are you my AP? This sounds like my A.
MM is somewhat low tech and very paranoid, so there are no personal emails or chats and texts. We are business associates so we can talk on the phone during day hours and meet for lunch or happy hour. Most of our time together is on business trips and we stick strictly to that - no sneaking around in town.
Mrs.
Pages