Back again

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2009
Back again
4
Thu, 02-19-2009 - 11:56am

Hello everyone! It's been a while since I've been around. (So long that I've forgotten my screenname/password and had to make a new one. But this name is pretty close to the old one?!)


Anyway, my AP and I have moved on into a very serious relationship. He's been out of the house for

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2007
Thu, 02-19-2009 - 12:02pm
i can't offer any advice at all. i just want to say that i wish you the best of luck in your relationship.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2007
Thu, 02-19-2009 - 12:12pm

Hi Sneaking -


Welcome back - good to hear from you.

lightning in my heart

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-24-2008
Thu, 02-19-2009 - 1:55pm
Two years..wow...so, how long did you 2 see each other before he left his wife? Did he go back and forth before making a final decision? Were you married at the time? My MM has left his wife ( again) and I know he is struggling with the emotions that go along with it and I'm really trying to be patient. He tells me that he wants me to tell him whenever ANYTHING is bothering me, but I told him I don't want to sound whiney, needy or pressuring him by dumping my insecurities on him. He knows there are consequences and one of them is disappointing his daughter and being away from his granddaughter with whom he is bonded to like a biological daughter. He's done this before and we've done the back and forth thing for over a year. I want to step back at times, but I'm afraid if I do that, he will take that as my not being as caring and loving and I also don't know how much his wife is dumping on him in the way of "sweet talking". He told me that "this time' she is being very different and that she will go off on him, then turn around and be sorry. He says that last night he told her "everything" and she proceeded to go off on him...don't know for sure what he meant by everything..haven't had time to go into details. I know the former times, she was always waiting with open arms for him to come back. He says this time she told him he couldn't and he said he told her he didn't want to...I asked him to be honest and tell me that if she changed his mind if he would and he told me no, but why does it seem when he talks to her and why lately does he act differently towards me? Within the last week, he hasn't been texting me as much nor have his texts contained all the Love you's, miss you's, can't live without you's....part of me wants to go running to be with him, but I know I can't. We've done that before and it didn't work..he still went back and I can't lose myself like I've done in the past. This hurts like hell, but I've got to maintain some "normalcy" and control in my life by staying where I am.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2009
Tue, 02-24-2009 - 1:34pm

Thanks for your support and advice.


We're doing better now. Better... but not totally back to normal. We had a few conversations (more calm and productive) and discussed why he was feeling that way and where we wanted our relationship to go.


I still feel uneasy.


I do appreciate your advice about letting him come to me. I didn't realize until you mentioned it that I was always pushing and asking him (mostly because I wanted him to know I care and am interested) but after I backed off and just told him to come to me we started having productive conversations. Thank you!