need support. crossed the line,

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2009
need support. crossed the line,
2
Sun, 02-22-2009 - 12:24am

hi i am new to this support group.


hopefully in right place, 4 the past 1.5 my DH & I have been trying to heal from online emotional affairs. we have been through lots of therapy and thought everything was on track.. my DH has issues w his diabetes which has changed everything. I'm 35. i spend most my time reassuring him that im satisfied, but in reality i am not in just one way. he has lost all function. Is it wrong of me to want to random sex to fulfill that need. we have been living w this sex issue for 2 years. last night i got a little to close to someone and it has me spinning. he is M. and unfortunately lives very close, in my small town. we kissed alot..I know it is wrong that i kissed another MM. but it was amazing. we agreed not to take any further, but it was very nice. I am absolutely in love w H. just felt very overwhelmed that we have been dealing w this sex issue. i do not want 2 divorce my H. I do not want to tell him either. I feel like i needed a moment

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2007
Sun, 02-22-2009 - 2:39pm

"I do not want to destroy 4 peoples lives for a make out."

If you are truly never going to do this again, then I don't think you have to worry. But I'm scared for you. Trust me, I KNOW what it's like to have that "lust" awakened when it's gone unfulfilled for a long long time. It's almost too much to bear, and almost impossible to resist the "call to action" so to speak.

If you truly love your husband and know that going through with an affair would kill you inside - and him - it might actually be best to tell him that you've been having thoughts/fantasies about other people. Get to marriage counseling with him, and explore your feelings with a marriage counselor. It might be your only chance to make your marriage work, and find passion again (and believe me, you CAN have passion without an erection involved in the sex - a sex therapist can help you both there!) I'm afraid if you leave it to your "willpower" you will cave in, because you're pretty miserable right now. Give yourselves a shot and get to the therapists. :-)

Some would say that I fell from grace... but I didn't.

Proud to be a



You've got a lot of choices. I
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
Sun, 02-22-2009 - 2:58pm

I guess you can only hope and pray that you can both keep your secret and that no one saw you to spill your beans.


I nice to hear that you don't want to leave your husband just because he can't get an erection.