7 calls so far today....

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-24-2008
7 calls so far today....
34
Sat, 02-28-2009 - 6:49pm
OMG....well, yesterday at work, AP and I had a talk in the morning. He told me that he had paid or was going to pay another month lease on his place and I asked him why if he was back living with her and he said because he wasn't sure about things. I asked where things stood with her, were they "working" on their marriage and he said no, she knew how he felt and wants him to get his head straightened out. He then told me he wasn't the one that sent me that text message last week about loving his wife more, he hugged me, kissed me...before he left at the end of the day I told him to have a good weekend and he said he would be texting me because "that's all we have"...he texted me last night and said something about "yeah, that went well, should've stayed in the bar, I can't get you out of my heart and head"...then told me he loved me and would text me in the morning. He had to work this morning and would be able to text freely...I sent him one first saying "good morning, thinking of you" and he responded about "thinking of you and all the things" and that was it...well, he told me Wednesday the reason he went back was because "someone" told him that they saw me and my husband out somewhere holding hands and looking all in love, which is a lie, and he began to think I was just trying to break up his marriage for revenge and making him look like a fool...I was like, whatever...that is a lie, you know it's a lie and I've never done anything to make you not trust ME....so, his last text today was that he was thinking of all that and didn't want to be made a fool of ( what a joke) and we needed to talk....K, whatever, here's the other odd thing...I've been receiving calls from "UNAVAILABLE" all day...7 so far, and they never leave a message so I suspect that he must've talked to her last night, just from what he said in his text about "that not going well" ( they were supposed to go out last night to celebrate her and some other relatives birthday) and now she's trying to call me..i don't know who else it would be. I don't feel like talking to her...I've done it before and she doesn't listen to anything I tell her and accuses me of lying about everything....I just wish I knew what he tells her..if he lies and tells her that I won't leave him alone ( he's done that before according to what she told me one time) or if he told her honestly how he felt and now she's pissed....gawd...I know, I brought it on myself by not keeping my mouth shut the other day...but I couldn't help it, damnit, I was tired of him acting like I had no feelings and I was just a piece of crap to kick to the curb with no explanation. Thanks for listening to me, ladies.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2009
Sat, 02-28-2009 - 6:59pm
Oh ferchrissakes, get off the merry-go-round already and move on.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-24-2008
Sat, 02-28-2009 - 8:58pm
More of a rollercoaster than a merry go round...
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2007
Sat, 02-28-2009 - 10:02pm




I would suspect he probably actually told her. You can call the phone company and report


harrassing phone calls and have them traced.










iVillage Member
Registered: 12-24-2008
Sat, 02-28-2009 - 11:24pm
They were on my cellphone...there were 12-13 all together and she never left any messages. She started to clear her throat like she was going to start to leave one, but that was it.
I don't know what he would've told her. She knew that he's been talking to me and sitting with me...he says she knows that's the reason he moved out 3 weeks ago ( moved back a week ago) so I don't know if he told her a "little more" of the truth than what he had or what.
We talked Thursday and Friday for the first time since he went back about a week and half ago, so I don't know if she found out about that ( he mentioned that he was told to stay away from me) and he's trying to cover his ass by saying he did nothing wrong..ya know, trying to make it sound like I'm chasing his poor defenseless ass ( ha)...all I know is that his texts friday night mentioned how "something" went real well ( sarcastically) and he should've stayed the bar and he could not get me out of his head and heart...told me he loved me and would text me in the morning....I don't know if he had some kind of talk with her or if was busted texting me because his whole tune had changed this morning....
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2000
Sun, 03-01-2009 - 1:03am
The whole thing sounds like one big soap opera. I say extricate yourself from the situation sooner rather than later. Who needs this drama?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-24-2008
Sun, 03-01-2009 - 10:03am
I know and I did for 3 months, but then I gave him the benefit of the doubt when he came to me 2 months ago. I thought maybe he had straightened his head out after NC for that long and when he agreed to be on his own and get divorced to prove he meant it this time I really thought he had changed. It would be so much easier if we didn't work together and I didn't have to see him everyday. I'm tired of the drama too and I've told him that several times. There's no need for me to have to go through all this because I'm not the one married to him, we have no other connections to each other, no bills, no family, nothing...I did all this because of how much I loved him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2008
Sun, 03-01-2009 - 11:19am
gabby i've followed your story...i don't think ap doesn't love you..he does..he's trying to protect both you and the wife..sorry you got caught up in the web of lies though...((hug)) IT MAY BE time for you to back off more than you ever have before to show him who's boss...for real...you have to gain some type of control back....i learned that the hard way...i made things hard for myself in this..when it can be very easy...i let my emotions rule...xap,dicchead..love..bf..whomeverthefuggheisnow provided me with everything i wanted and needed even love...but had to gain control...and i fall back at times...and we aren't even together anymore our relationship as affair partners is over...well maybe it's not maybe we are still in the affair but, i don't wanna admit to it.,...well just try to gain as much control bck as you can...back off some to get control over your own thoughts and feelings..you cant control what this man does says or thinks..he has to find his own way.....anything he says to his so doesn't mean he doesnt love you, it means he's trying to protect all those involved........but you miss missy have to get control

"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2008
Sun, 03-01-2009 - 2:02pm

I agree,its too much drama! I suspect that even IF your AP( ex?) gets a D,a day wont pass without all the drama.Life is already so complicated!

(( hugs ))

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-24-2008
Sun, 03-01-2009 - 2:13pm
I know...It's so obvious that he doesn't tell her the whole truth about things. Like I said, I'm pretty sure it was her trying to call me all day yesterday, but I don't feel it's my place to tell her anything...that's his job. I asked him specifically Friday...are you back with her because you are WORKING on your marriage and he told me NO and I said, well, then what is she expecting from you and he said, "for me to get my head straightened out" and I said, okay, what do you want from me? and he said for me to be patient with him....he told me that it was hard for him being alone like he was and it was hard for him not feeling in control of things when he was alone....but he doesn't understand that is the only way for him to get his head straightened out. He can't decide what he wants when he's living with either one of us, but it's like he admits, he's weak when it comes to emotions and relationships...I know I need to pull myself out of the equation..I did it for 3 months.
Thanks, tyerzize....how long did your affair last? Was it on again off again a lot? Who ended things? Who initiated things? How often did you see each other?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2008
Sun, 03-01-2009 - 4:05pm
our affair was a year and 4 months..i broke things off with him...but he initiated the affair...as far as talking to each other again...well that was on the both of us...we do love each other...neither of us wants to let each other fully go...not at all...that's the problem...we do find joy in spending time with each other face to face and always find laughs, loves and joys....we see each other now once a week as opposed to 3-4 times a week....it's always great xes...lol...that will never be horrible or bad....it just is what it is now

"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss

"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss

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