I want to crawl back under my rock

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-01-2009
I want to crawl back under my rock
8
Sun, 03-01-2009 - 11:43am

I'm single. About 10 months ago I went out with a guy and we clicked instantly. We're so much alike. We have great sex, we understand each other, we're both very laid back. About

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-01-2009
Sun, 03-01-2009 - 11:48am

Wow, Im so sorry. I can't say I wouldnt feel exactly how you are feeling. I cant say I would still be with him though. He should have told you he was married. I dont know that I could deal with that size of a lie.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-01-2009
Sun, 03-01-2009 - 12:40pm

No kidding. If we hadn't been so far into it, I would've told him to take a hike. He says that he tried to tell me but that he was so crazy about me that he thought I'd never speak to him again. And I'm such a dumba** that it never even occured to me that he might be married.


He is a good guy, believe it or not. I mean, I work with the public and I see a lot of bs so I feel like I have a pretty good sense about people. He takes care of his little boy most of the time (I'm not sure my DH even knew what a diaper was). He volunteers in his community. He helps people. I just don't think he

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2008
Sun, 03-01-2009 - 2:22pm

Hi NM!


I'm a regular on this board, been here about a year.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2008
Sun, 03-01-2009 - 3:40pm

Hmm, don't you kind of wonder why he isn't worried that his W will find out? He is more worried about what his family and community will think? That's a bit strange. Have you ever asked him why? And more importantly, how does that make you feel? Good guy or not, he is not treating you with the same respect he treats the community. Something to think about don't you think?

I was involved with someone who, to this day, never told me his real story. I suspect it is much different than what he originally presented it to be. I was new to his world, so anything he told me I trusted as the truth because I didn't know otherwise and still don't. I could ask around, but I won't because it is what it is and I don't want to even go there. It's best for me to "see" the reality based on his actions and that is good enough for me.

I know this is an A support board and pointing out how you are not being treated fairly is being supportive. YOu have to decide whether or not you are willing to accept crumbs from this guy. It's your choice. As a single person though, you do deserve to be with someone who can be full and present and treat you in the way you deserve to be treated. No offense to the others here.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-01-2009
Sun, 03-01-2009 - 5:17pm

I've thought about that too. I've never known any couples in a relationship that began as an affair. So are people that have affairs destined to live life that way? Just one affair after another?


Call me crazy but when I settle down again, I want to be with someone who wants to be with me... who's like my best friend... who understands me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-01-2009
Sun, 03-01-2009 - 5:41pm

I don't wonder why he doesn't worry about his W finding out. He doesn't respect her. This sounds horrible but one of his friends told me one time that he (the friend)

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2009
Sun, 03-01-2009 - 6:04pm

Actually, my grandfather and his wife started out as an

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-01-2009
Sun, 03-01-2009 - 6:14pm

That's good to hear though - regardless of whether or not its an exception.


As for me - I left my DH for nobody. I ended my A before my M ended. Sometimes I think it would've been so much easier to leave for somebody. It was very lonely. But I knew that it was the right thing to do. I'm pleased to say that my ex is in a relationship now and is very happy. I hope that one day I am too.


Life's too short to be with somebody that your heart's just not with.